Antonio offers that cuetes (Spanish slang for guns) in the barrio are easily purchased in housing projects, but that bullets are scarce because minors can't buy them over the counter. Adolescents will often save a quarter a day until they've collected $20 to purchase a hot handgun. A "clean," untraceable gun is more expensive, starting at $50.
"We don't want to kill anyone, but stopping [the violence] has to come from the outside because here on the inside it's too intense," says Antonio. "The only way is to make it impossible for us to get guns."
"How can we as white people in this political world help you who live in violence every day?" asks Scully.
"'You as white people,'" mimics Ricky, "can stop making those guns. You make them, then lock us up for using them. Makes no sense to me."
Scully agrees, and recounts a conversation she had with representatives of the National Rifle Association. "They told me that only gang kids use assault weapons so, 'Why don't you just let them kill each other. Why are you worried about it?'" The NRA's idea of a gun-deterrence program for kids includes a video and comic book starring a character named "Eddie," who wears a feathered eagle suit and dances to this rap-music rhyme: "If you see a gun, stop, don't touch, leave the room, tell an adult." A copy of Guns and Ammo with a profile of the NRA's Eddie is passed around the room.
"Fuck that," says Antonio. "Let's go shoot Eddie the Eagle."
Antonio isn't kidding. He's an experienced shooter. "We don't shoot to kill," he states. "We just want to score. I try to aim low on purpose. So if they die, maybe it's their time. And [other gangs] do the same with us."
"Yeah, like the ones that shot at us an hour ago," says Walter. Everybody, including Scully, laughs out loud.
Rudy underscores the point that not all shootings are meant to kill by paraphrasing a refrain from Snoop Doggy Dogg: "Murder was not the case," he murmurs a few times.
"I have nightmares of getting killed," confesses Rudy. "At three in the morning every night I wake up with the sweats."
"Ahhh: What a wimp," says Antonio, as everybody moans. Hats and wads of paper fly across the room at Rudy.
"Have you seen Boyz N the Hood?" Scully asks.
Antonio takes offense at mention of the film.
"We don't shoot just for the hell of it. We're not like that man that shot you," he says, explaining that no Latino gang in San Francisco will shoot another gang member while he's in the presence of children -- and never when the mom is around. "You never hear of innocents getting shot. This is a gang-on-gang thing," he says.
After two hours of informal talking, someone mentions the "bribery" that enticed the gang to visit 101 California in the first place -- the promise of free burritos. Antonio takes command and declares the meeting over. It's been a tiring afternoon.
On the way out the door, some gang members question Scully's sincerity. "Why would she be interested in us -- only to get our secrets?" says a kid named Ricky.
Scully promises a followup meeting, pledging she'll visit them where they hang out in the Mission District. "If she comes, we'll know she's not just a fine lady, but a true lady," says Antonio. Consensus is reached that if Scully reappears on their turf, the kids will believe she was sincere.
"I've spoken to many people about these kids," says Scully a few days after the meeting. "The most striking thing about them was that they were basically good, intelligent and articulate but caught in this deadly game of gang warfare. We have got to do everything possible to remove guns from their situation."
Fourteen-year-old Mario, another "shooter," didn't speak during the downtown meeting. But during the ride home he confesses, "You know, I have nightmares, too. I pray that when I shoot someone I won't kill them. What would be worse than getting shot is shooting someone else." He walks away from the car, alone and contemplative.
Marta Sanchez-Beswick
