REAL ASTROLOGY for an unreal world

Comments (0) By Rob Brezsny Wednesday, Mar 15 1995

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Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Psssst. Believe it or else. You're becoming more psychic. Whether you like it or not. Whether you believe in invisible forces or not. I don't care if you regularly absorb five hours of TV a day, consume Pepsi and corn chips for breakfast, and believe that the size of one's income is the ultimate arbiter of one's worth -- you're still experiencing a modest but tangible boost in your ability to telepathically tune in to what other people are thinking and feeling. The sooner you admit this, the less likely you'll be confused by all those curious impressions that are bubbling up in your mind's eye.

Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): I believe it's time to upgrade the animal symbol for Pisces. The "fishes" are just too generic and wishy-washy for a vivid, complex sign like you. As of now, I'm launching a campaign to assign you an exciting new mascot: the dolphin. Let's count the ways this match fits. As a mammal that lives in the water, the dolphin mirrors your ability to dwell in several worlds at once. It's a smart creature, but in a sensitive, playful way, like you -- not in the cold, calculating manner of the mythical fox or crow. Like you at your best, the dolphin is helpful, generous and eternally youthful. And as scientists have only recently begun to discover, it's probably the most erotically ingenious beast in the animal kingdom.