Dog Bites

Hyperspace
Striking fear into the hearts of editors across the land is 24-year-old InfoWorld staff writer Doug Fine, who has established a home page on the Web to retaliate against both the editors who have declined the opportunity to publish his brilliant work from Alaska, Suriname, and other exotic locations -- and those who have been so silly as to tamper with his work. (For the record, Fine is maddened by what he considers to be shitty editing at the hands of Spin, the Village Voice, and High Times. He holds grudges against San Jose's Metro and "a crappy new magazine in New York" for the spikes they delivered to his pieces. And he's miffed about the cold shoulder afforded to his obvious genius by Wired and the Pacific News Service.)

Taking very literally A.J. Liebling's maxim that freedom of the press only belongs to those who own one, Fine has recently posted his entire oeuvre on his home page (http://www.well.com/user/fine). This includes his uncut feature stories (the published and unpublished ones); excerpts from his novel, Sugar Bowl Game (and instructions on how to buy it); and coming attractions of pieces yet written.

The electronic self-promoter has even posted an old piece of e-mail he sent himself in 1993: "Doug, you're a writer who believes that human beings, because of their consciousnesses, are silly, and you instinctivelt question the source and motivations of all authority. If you believe in anything, you realize that this has been conditioned in your cerebrum, somehow embedded, yet for some reason you are not totallt nihillistic (although, of late, you seem to have forgotten how to spell). Just a reminder in case anyone gets to you. Love, Doug"

Two Places at Once
Mayor Jordan's press secretary, Noah Griffin, has spent two years voicing the Citizen Mayor's agenda, so he must have felt justified in announcing to the media last week that he will shortly be appointed by Jordan to the Board of Supervisors -- where no vacancy currently exists. .

San Francisco supervisors are required to be San Franciscans, and Griffin has lived in Mill Valley for the past six years. But as of June 1, Griffin claimed to be a San Franciscan, registering to vote at 820 Laguna Honda, west of Twin Peaks. Oddly, this is the same single-family dwelling that former Supervisor Bill Maher claims as his legal residence for voting purposes. The tidy white stucco structure is owned by close Quentin Kopp ally William F. O'Keefe Jr., who is the third person registered to vote from the two-story house.

"I've got a place here now," Griffin acknowledged on Tuesday morning, "but I'm not living here on a daily basis." Griffin's intentions to become a full-fledged San Franciscan were surely news to Marin County's Assessor's Office, which confirmed that Griffin's Mill Valley homeowner tax exemption was renewed on July 1, one month after he claimed San Francisco as his primary residence.

By Tuesday afternoon, though, Griffin was a Mill Valleyite again.
"I was wrong; I talked to the city attorney," he said, allowing that he had just reregistered to vote in Marin.

Blow It Out
It has become almost impossible to find gas stations with working tire pressure gauges attached to the air hoses provided for customer satisfaction. The hoses are still there, but unless you've brought your own tire barometer, you're out of luck. This is irksome to those of us with leaky whitewalls, but it seems we have only ourselves to blame. "I've always not trusted those gauges anyway," says Bill Steel, of Chevron. "I carry my own."

By Jack Shafer, Larry Bush, Ellen McGarrahan

 
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