Shut Up, Little Man

At one point during our meeting, Rosenthal appears to have a similar realization. He gets this look on his face that says "I don't want to do this anymore." He clicks off his camcorder and sets it in his lap.

I continue the interview, asking why Peter left advertising.
"I'm disabled," he says.
What disability?

He pauses a long while and looks at me as if I have just taken him somewhere he doesn't want to go anymore. He reaches under his bed and pulls out a pile of yellow legal stationary. On one page is a list of medications with names too long to pronounce without practice. Next to most of the meds is written the word "Anxiety." On another page the word "Thoughts" is written across the top and underlined. "I want to die," is thought No. 1. "I wake up every morning and wonder when I am going to die," is thought No. 2. On a third page is a list of several suicide attempts.

Mustering one last reservoir of voyeurism, I spread the pages out on the bed and Rosenthal films them. I feel sick. Rosenthal looks sick. We are sick.

Still, I have to ask. I have to go deeper. This is what I wanted, right? The real Peter.

"Why do you say here that you want to die?" I ask.
"Well," he says, "what have I contributed to the world except to sell more Alka-Seltzer and Black Label beer?"

After his first meeting with Peter, Rosenthal is in a quandary about how to proceed with his project. "The Peter that's in that room isn't the Peter on the tapes," he says. "[The real Peter] gets this quixotic little smile, this gay smile, this sparkle in his eyes. This is the kind of balance I want to try and bring to the script."

But after a few more meetings, Rosenthal's quandary seems resolved.
He's on the phone telling me how chummy he and Peter have become since they met. "He's been calling me almost daily, summoning me to his room," Rosenthal says.

Peter seems to be under the impression that he's been contacted to work on a screen treatment. He's been giving Rosenthal writings over the past few days. But Rosenthal is happy that Peter has taken to him because it undercuts Lavache's hold on the rights.

I ask Rosenthal if he is still disturbed by what he saw in the first meeting, if it has still changed his view of the movie.

"I have to keep it very clear in my mind that the Peter I'm coming to know and the project are two different things," he says.