Keep Out! "Our bedrooms tell stories about us," says photographer Adrienne Salinger. "They become the repository for memories, desire, and self-image." For proof, look no further than "Teenagers in Their Bedrooms," an exhibit tied to Salinger's new book In My Room. Kids lucky enough to have a solitary bedroom know very well it's the only space in the house (and the world) that belongs to them. Accordingly, their decorative styles are rarely minimalist; usually, poster and furniture choices -- even cleanliness habits -- reflect layers of personality. See what's visible and wonder about what's hidden (under pillows, beds, and inside heads) 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at San Jose Museum of Art, 110 South Market, San Jose. "Teenagers in Their Bedrooms" continues Tues-Sat through Sept. 24. Admission is $3-6; call (408) 294-2787.
Stand-up Tragedy Written by Liz White, "The Associates" is a night of sketch comedy. Its aim? To make a mockery of hypocrisy. In between solo performances, White and a cast of comedians act out skits. They include a TV crime show that uses actual witnesses in its re-enactments and the tale of one female comic's deterioration into a Las Vegas road hack. Laugh and cry at 8 p.m. at 450 Geary Theatre, 450 Geary, S.F. "The Associates" continues through Sept. 30. Tickets are $10; call 673-1172.
Cute 'n' Clever Clive Here's the scariest thing about Clive Barker: He's supernaturally prolific. In the past decade, the brown-haired Brit has penned almost as many books as wordmonger Joyce Carol Oates, still finding time to write and direct a few films (including the notorious Hellraiser) on the side. Famous and "out" in a genre -- horror -- that isn't exactly gay-friendly, Barker casually mixes polymorphous perversity into the narratives of fantasy epics like Imajica. His latest cinematic project -- Lords of Illusion, starring Scott Bakula -- opens soon, and he'll discuss it at a 7 p.m. reading/autograph signing at A Different Light, 489 Castro, S.F. Free; call 431-0891.
Weirdos a Go Go Fetish gear is peddled at Macy's and the neighborhood librarian has her chin pierced -- nothing's shocking. Still, Mystery City continues to give it the old college try. "Ritual" -- the fetish party to end them all -- will feature the standard tattoo and piercing demonstrations, as well as some not-so-standard performances by Bob Matigan the Pubic Pyromaniac, Lance the Pukeboy, Star the Urine Queen, and Violet the Bloodletter. (Yum.) The Seemen bring the noise. Fluids will flow freely at 8 p.m. at the Trocadero, 520 Fourth St, S.F. Tickets are $8-10; call 995-4600.
Get Crafty Q: Where can you find glistening gold, shimmering silver, pretty porcelain, shiny silk, and wacky wood wares? A: At the 20th annual American Craft Council Craft Fair San Francisco. The largest juried event of its kind in California, this year's craft fair features many works addressing the environment and ethnicity. It also boasts a number of strange creations: purses of metal, lamps of alabaster, metal baskets, wooden teapots, and knives and chairs made of glass. Though 47 states are represented, over half of the 350 exhibitors are from California; all will tend their booths, giving shoppers a chance to ask about more than prices. Shop and gawk at stoneware tureens, silk scarves, patterned quilts, ceramic vessels, and more natural-fiber baskets from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. at the Herbst and Festival Pavilions, Fort Mason Center, S.F. The fair continues through Sunday, Aug. 13. Admission is $7; call 896-5060.
Ready for His/Her Close-Up Not only has multitalented Billy de Herrera been nominated for a Bay Area Theater Critics Award, he's also one of San Francisco's foremost wigmakers. A Latino twist on A Star Is Born, Herrera's new one-(wo)man show, Rosa's Turn, focuses on a beauty queen's dreams of fame. Jazz numbers, Broadway tunes, and -- most important -- a dozen costume changes (all Herrera's own creations) help tell the tale. Wig out at 10 p.m. at Josie's Cabaret and Juice Joint, 3583 16th St, S.F. Rosa's Turn continues through Aug. 25. Tickets are $10; call 861-7933.
Strong Coffy In Cleopatra Jones, 6-foot-2 kung-fu champ/supermodel/blacktress Tamara Dobson doesn't work with the system; she makes the system work with her. In contrast, blaxploitation star Pam Grier's films are bleak tales of one woman against the world. As Coffy, Grier decapitates drug pushers and castrates cheating boyfriends, winning not one but two catfights -- one by throwing megatacky furniture, the other by hiding razor blades in her 'fro. (She also leaves leisure-suit sleazebag Allan Arbus -- Diane's husband -- literally drowning in a pool of his own blood.) Grier's other star vehicle, Foxy Brown, also features the incomparable clown Antonio Fargas (who went on to play Huggy Bear on Starsky and Hutch, a no-good, back-stabbing coke dealer). The blaxploitation fest's feminist half starts with Foxy, 7:15 and 9:15 p.m., at the Red Vic, 1727 Haight, S.F. Tickets are $5.50; call 668-3994 for Coffy and Cleopatra Jones show times.
Floral Preservation Society In 1958, Bay Area Beat-era painter Jay DeFeo began working on a piece called Deathrose. Five years and $5,000 in paint later, DeFeo finished the 2,300-pound, 129-by-92-inch work. In 1969, the painting -- ultimately titled The Rose -- was exhibited for the first time, to great acclaim. A symposium devoted to DeFeo's "ultimate statement," "A Day With The Rose" features a screening of Bruce Conner's documentary The White Rose, presentations by conservators currently working to preserve the painting's 2-to-8-inch surface, and a panel discussion featuring artist/DeFeo associate Wally Hedrick, curator Walter Hopps, poet Michael McClure, and author Greil Marcus, among others. Hear about The Rose, then see it 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at S.F. Art Institute, 800 Chestnut, S.F. Admission is $6-12; call 749-4588.