Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): On Nov. 24, seven planets will gather in your sign for a kind of orgiastic cosmic Woodstock. Jupiter and Venus are already there revving up the mood, and Mars arrives soon. I fully expect the next 10 days to begin demonstrating why the fall of 1995 will be the most purely Sagittarian time on Earth since late 1983. It seems obvious, then, that all the other signs are going to need a heavy dose of Sagittarius lessons in coming weeks. That's why I'm soliciting your input. Write and tell me all the ways you think everyone should be more like you. Reply to "How to Be a Sagittarius," Box 150247, San Rafael, CA 94915.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A bidding war for your services may already be in progress. If not that, then certainly an all-out flattery attack or sycophantic spectacular. Your value to the tribe is peaking, my competent friend, and your ego will probably be stroked and fluffed and massaged to the point of orgasm. The question is, will you be so seduced by what everyone wants you to give 'em that you get distracted from what you want to give 'em? There may be a difference, after all. And if you're too drunk on all the praise and popularity, you might offer less than your best.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The gaps in your education must be pretty glaring right now. That's good news, since maybe you'll finally be motivated to fill them up. If you're lucky, the embarrassing blanks of the last few weeks have already got you making plans to take a crash course or try sleep learning or buy one of those volumes in the "Dummies" series, like Financial Planning for Dummies or Sex for Dummies. This week will bring even more feedback about what you don't know, and it'll also provide fabulously unexpected sources of teaching. An accidental guru? Interspecies communication? A valuable lesson from the goddamn TV?!
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): This would not be a good time to launch a career in illegal arms sales, move into a thatched hut in the shadow of an active volcano, or do crossword puzzles with a pen. On the other hand, it would be an excellent moment to have sex in bathtubs, separate good junk from the useless kind, and have a nice long talk with the mirror about secrets you've been afraid to think about. Dumb risks, no. Constructive adventures, yes.