"I'm a flirt," declares Susan Rabin, a note of challenge in her voice. The slight, 40-ish blonde contends that "flirt" is not a bad word, that it is, in fact, a fabulous word. And, as founder of the School of Flirting in Manhattan, it has made her a million.
"Can anyone give me a synonym for 'flirting'?" Rabin asks the seated National Singles Convention-eers gathered at the Cathedral Hill Hotel last Friday night.
"Connecting," suggests a sharp woman in the front row.
"Communicating," shouts another.
"Playfulness," a man chimes in.
"Good," Rabin says, beaming. "This is a smart crowd. Any more?"
"Lasciviousness!" yells a rabble-rouser in the back, generating a wave of chuckles.
"I'm not sure what that means," Rabin responds, "but, obviously, he's not a good flirt -- his vocabulary's too big. Any more?"
"A large body of water," another heckler pipes in.
"Flirting," Rabin asks slowly, attempting clarity, "is a large body of water?"
"Welcome to San Francisco!" shouts a sympathetic single.
In the lobby, hopefuls wearing name tags with their pseudonyms and their Sunday best sit around tables adorned with red, white, and pink balloons in honor of Valentine's Day. Half the crowd looks over complimentary copies of 101 Fun & Clever Ways to Get Noticed by the Opposite Sex by Don Davidson and fills out applications for Great Expectations (the largest introductory service in the country) and free personal ads for the San Francisco Bay Guardian. The rest of the singles mingle, taking the valuable advice doled out by the handbook to heart: "96. Ask a friend to say nice things about you to someone you point out that you'd like to meet"; "98. If there is an empty seat by someone you want to meet, sit in it ... even though there may be lots of extra seats available"; "100. If they have a tag on, ask a question about their name"; "91. Take a fake beeper to a meeting and activate it when there's a lull"; "92. Spill punch on that special someone, then offer to wipe it off."
"A lot of people," "Jerry" explains over his vodka tonic, "use singles nights as social events rather than just a way to land a date. It's a lot of fun."
"D.J.," a perfectly coiffed "single woman of 14 years" who has never been to such an event before, says a friend persuaded her to go. "Interviewing people must really be a great icebreaker," she says, indicating my pad, clearly impressed with the idea. "I had a girlfriend that used to take out a camera without film -- that worked as a nice entree as well."
"Some of these faces I've been seeing for over five years," says a petite woman working one of the sign-up tables. "Like "Bob" over there, he's been around forever."
"Bob," a debonair-looking English professor in a fedora, claims that he has only been coming to singles events for six months, but after a few minutes it's obvious that he's on a first-name basis with almost every female who walks through the door.
"I'd like to meet a lovely woman that I could be with for the rest of my life," he muses, pausing to greet a new arrival. "Hello, sweetie," he says, warming his victim's hands. "Have you come alone?"
"Of course," she says, extricating herself by removing her coat. "It's a singles night."
"I hope to win the flirting contest," "Bob" says as his potential date disappears into the crowd. Bedecked in leather pants and a bolo tie, Mr. USA Flirt '95, the national champion, steps up to a mike and expounds on the virtues of his coveted title. "It's been a lot of fun," he grins as he stands next to a small disco ball. "You meet so many people."
In an earlier phone conversation, the chairman of American Singles (the second-largest nonprofit for singles in the country), Rich Gosse, had refused to give me judging criteria for the flirting competition. "I wouldn't want anyone to have an unfair advantage," Gosse says. "It's a secret." As it happens, the male and female who collect the most phone numbers in a five-minute period win the Mr. and Ms. USA Flirt crowns: Robin Biscardi of Mountain View and Marge Golden of San Francisco, respectively.
"I'm here for all the ladies," Biscardi says as he accepts the honors, "if you need anything tonight."
"Robin may be the flirt champion," says one starry-eyed spectator, "but Rich is the singles guru ... and he's single!" As we leave, she sits there, conversing intently with her girlfriend. Ladies, never forget Rabin's No. 1 rule: "Women, when you go out together, please separate!"
By Silke Tudor
