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A Message to Our Customers 

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April 1, 1996
Dear Valued Customer,
You may have already heard about Wells Fargo Bank's recent acquisition of First Interstate and our proposed merger with Bank of America and Great Western Bank to form a new entity, Monolithic Bank N.A. As a valued customer of the new Monolithic Bank, you may be wondering how this change will affect you.

Let me take this opportunity to assure you that this merger was undertaken solely with you, our valued customer, in mind. As one of the largest financial institutions in the world, Monolithic Bank is now in a position to serve you better than ever. Here's how:

Absolutely Positively Totally Free Checking
Enjoy the convenience of Absolutely Positively Totally Free Checking, a Monolithic Bank exclusive. Just keep a minimum of $10,000 in a savings, money market, and time deposit account (or $30,000 in any one of them), and your first three checks each month are absolutely, positively, totally free! Choose from a wide range of designer check colors, including White, Cream, Lily of the Valley, Vanilla, Ivory, and Albino. And each check is distinctively personalized with your signature at the bottom.

You can also avoid the inconvenience and embarrassment of bounced checks by signing up for Automatic Overdraft Protection. Qualified customers who keep $5,000 in an easy-to-open Overdraft Protection Account are completely covered against bounced checks -- up to $5,000! Automatically. We'll even waive the annual membership fee if you sign up now.

Best of all, your Absolutely Positively Totally Free Checking account comes with unlimited check-writing privileges. No one will ever come to your door and tell you to stop writing checks. You're free to write as many checks as you want, until the accumulated service charges exceed your balance. That's a Monolithic Bank promise.

Hard-Working Savings
Your money should work as hard as you do. At Monolithic Bank, it works even harder. Simply open a Money-Maker Savings Account and your money goes to work for you 365 days a year -- no vacations, no sick days, and no maternity leave. Make additional deposits and watch your account balance go up, up, up. The sky's the limit.

We've also got savings plans designed for special needs, like our Christmas Club account. Just transfer funds from your Money-Maker Savings into a Christmas Club account and your money will still be there when the holidays roll around -- guaranteed!

Convenient Locations
Say goodbye to frustrating drives around town looking for a bank branch. Our new Branch Consolidation Plan makes banking easier by significantly reducing the number of bank outlets, making the remaining branches much easier to locate. You'll soon settle on one location as your "home" branch -- and feel better about it.

And in case you're wondering, most branch closings will be in "bad" neighborhoods, places where you and your loved ones probably wouldn't want to be walking in the first place. We're glad to be doing our part to make banking safe -- and fun -- once again. Welcome home!

Zero Human Error
You have better things to do than worry whether the bank has made an error. Our rapidly expanding ATM network is bringing us closer to our goal of Zero Human Error -- another Monolithic Bank exclusive. Each teller we replace with an ATM reduces the number of human mistakes, making your banking experience more efficient and pleasurable.

But don't worry -- we haven't forgotten the value of friendly service. Our ATMs always greet you with a neighborly "Welcome" screen, never tire of asking whether you'd like another transaction, and thoughtfully "beep" when you leave your card in the machine. And you'll always get a warm "Thank You" and "Have a Nice Day" printed right on your receipt, which you can take home and cherish.

Most important, our ATM network is designed with your safety in mind. Each machine comes equipped with a state-of-the-art parabolic mirror -- simply look straight into the mirror and you'll actually be able to see "behind" you. In the unlikely event of a mishap, our new Crime-Stoppers Hot Line makes filling out a robbery report a snap. Just call during regular business hours and follow the easy instructions (Touch-Tone phones only). And don't worry about paying for the call -- you'll be billed automatically.

Sound Investment Advice
Whether you're looking for long-term financial gain or short-term windfall profits, Monolithic has a flexible investment plan to suit your needs. While every investment involves some risk, the real danger these days is being left behind in the greatest bull market ever. Our investment specialists target companies that are aggressively downsizing or shedding unnecessary salary and pension costs, assuring you of a maximized rate of return. At Monolithic, our money managers never forget the time-honored investment maxim: Main Street's pain is Wall Street's gain.

We don't stop at the border, either. Our financial specialists search the globe for investment opportunities that will work harder for you. Ask about our Third World Growth and Income Fund, which seeks emerging companies in China, Indonesia, Cambodia, Albania, and Mexico that boast dramatically lowered worker costs. You'll soon become a "slave" to high earnings.

Of course, money doesn't grow on trees. But if it did, there'd be a tree growing beside every Monolithic Bank investment specialist!

No-Hassle Loans
You've told us that banks should make it easy to borrow money -- and we've listened. All we need to process your No-Hassle Loan is your application, a credit report, an appraisal, a current pay stub, and your tax returns for the last five years. That's it! No last-minute holdups for "additional" paperwork.

Our No-Hassle loan officers will customize a car or home equity loan tailored to your financial requirements, without bothering you with confusing details about "rates," "points," and "collateral." They'll even advise you on public transit options if your car unexpectedly changes hands or help you look for an apartment if you suddenly lose your house.

Our mortgage lenders understand that a house is not merely a house -- it's a home. That's why we've developed the Home Sweet Home Mortgage Kit to help you secure the home of your dreams. Be sure to consult the handy Home Buyers Map for your region -- applicants within the designated red-lined area may qualify for special treatment.

Commitment to Diversity
At Monolithic, we're committed to diversity. We will not discriminate on the basis of race, gender, age, religion, familial status, sexual orientation, handicap, or national origin. Everyone is welcome to deposit his money here.

We're working hard to make our workplace more diverse, too. In many areas, it's not unusual to see women and people of color working at our branch offices, or employed by companies that clean and provide security to those branches. Who knows -- someday one of those hard workers may become a branch manager. At Monolithic, anything's possible.

Peace of Mind
Most important, your money is safe at Monolithic Bank. It's federally insured by the FDIC for qualified customers. It's also backed by the full faith and credit of the United States government -- your money is legal tender for all debts public and private.

And thanks to our recent mergers, Monolithic Bank is now officially Too Big to Fail. The feds couldn't shut us down if they tried. Not even if all our investments suddenly went belly up and the board of directors fled to the Cayman Islands. Not that it's going to happen.

You'll sleep better knowing your money's safe at Monolithic. So go ahead -- sleep ... sleep ... sleep.

We'll handle the rest.
Regards,
Tom McNichol
Personal Banking Facilitator

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Slideshows

  • Nevada City and the South Yuba River: A gold country getaway

    Nestled in the green pine-covered hills of the Northern Sierra Nevada is the Gold Rush town of Nevada City. Beautiful Victorian houses line the streets, keeping the old-time charm alive, and a vibrant downtown is home to world-class art, theater and music. The nearby South Yuba River State Park is known for its emerald swimming holes during the summer and radiant leaf colors during autumn. These days the gold panning is more for tourists than prospectors, but the gold miner spirit is still in the air.

    South Yuba River State Park and Swimming Holes:
    The park runs along and below 20 miles of the South Yuba River, offering hiking, mountain biking, gold panning and swimming. The Highway 49 bridge swimming hole is seven-miles northwest of Nevada City where Highway 49 crosses the South Yuba River. Parking is readily available and it is a short, steep hike to a stunning swimming hole beneath a footbridge. For the more intrepid, trails extend along the river with access to secluded swim spots. The Bridgeport swimming hole has calm waters and a sandy beach -- good for families and cookouts -- and is located 14 miles northwest of Nevada City. Be sure to write down directions before heading out, GPS may not be available. Most swimming holes on the South Yuba River are best from July to September, while winter and spring can bring dangerous rapids. Always know the current before jumping in!

    Downtown Nevada City
    The welcoming, walkable downtown of Nevada City is laid back, yet full of life. Start your day at the cozy South Pine Cafe (110 S Pine St.) with a lobster benedict or a spicy Jamaican tofu scramble. Then stroll the streets and stop into the shop Kitkitdizzi (423 Broad St.) for handcrafted goods unique to the region, vintage wears and local art “all with California gold rush swagger,” as stated by owners Carrie Hawthorne and Kira Westly. Surrounded by Gold Rush history, modern gold jewelry is made from locally found nuggets and is found at Utopian Stone Custom Jewelers (301 Broad St.). For a coffee shop with Victorian charm try The Curly Wolf (217 Broad St.), an espresso house and music venue with German pastries and light fare. A perfect way to cool down during the hot summer months can be found at Treats (110 York St.) , an artisan ice cream shop with flavors like pear ginger sorbet or vegan chai coconut. Nightlife is aplenty with music halls, alehouses or dive bars like the Mine Shaft Saloon (222 Broad St.).

    The Willo Steakhouse (16898 State Hwy 49, Nevada City)
    Along Highway 49, just west of Nevada City, is The Willo, a classic roadhouse and bar where you’re welcomed by the smell of steak and a dining room full of locals. In 1947 a Quonset hut (a semi-cylindrical building) was purchased from the US Army and transported to its current location, and opened as a bar, which became popular with lumberjacks and miners. The bar was passed down through the decades and a covered structure was added to enlarge the bar and create a dining area. The original Quonset beams are still visible in the bar and current owners Mike Byrne and Nancy Wilson keep the roadhouse tradition going with carefully aged New York steaks and house made ingredients. Pair your steak or fish with a local wine, such as the Rough and Ready Red, or bring your own for a small corkage fee. Check the website for specials, such as rib-eye on Fridays.

    Outside Inn (575 E Broad St.)
    A 16-room motel a short walk from downtown, each room features a unique décor, such as the Paddlers’ Suite or the Wildflower Room. A friendly staff and an office full of information about local trails, swimming and biking gets you started on your outdoor exploration. Amenities include an outdoor shower, a summer swimming pool and picnic tables and barbeques. Don’t miss the free vegetable cart just outside the motel in the mornings.

    Written and photographed by Beth LaBerge for the SF Weekly.

  • Arcade Fire at Shoreline
    Arcade Fire opened their US tour at Shoreline Amphitheater to a full house who was there in support of their album "Reflector," which was released last fall. Dan Deacon opened the show to a happily surprised early audience and got the crowd actively dancing and warmed up. DEVO was originally on the bill to support Arcade Fire but a kayak accident last week had sidelined lead singer Mark Mothersbaugh and the duration of the west coast leg of the tour. Win Butler did a homage to DEVO by performing Uncontrollable Urge.

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