REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Is there anyone in your life who knows how to listen to you in the special way you need to be listened to? If so, invite that person out to two or three free lunches this week. If not, make it your quest to recruit a willing devotee. There's a priceless fragment of lost magic rumbling around in your subconscious mind, and it'll stay lost unless you place yourself in the presence of someone who encourages you to name it. Right now, you don't even realize how much you've forgotten.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Right about now a casual observer might look at you and say you're in dire need of nutritional supplements, a two-hour massage, a visit to a healer, a rejuvenating retreat to your sanctuary, a long talk with the mirror, a personal call from your hero, and a better choice of politicians to vote for. That's all true in a way. What the casual observer wouldn't know, however, is that receiving even one of those remedies would make you ripe for an outbreak of willowy romance. Getting three or more of those remedies would bring a massive eruption of steamy, squishy love. So what are you waiting for? Treat yourself like a royal child.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Who could have ever predicted that one of the finest smells on Earth -- once used to make perfume -- would be ambergris, a gooey substance sperm whales excrete to protect their digestive tracts from the sharp cuttlefish they devour? For that matter, who would ever have believed that you would turn one of the most inelegant facts of your life into a downright asset? You've made good progress on this task during the first six months of 1996. By January 1997 I expect you to have polished off this amazing achievement.