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The Accidental Onanist
Behold pandering-as-marketing for classical music (or vice versa): Classical Erotica II. Wow -- old "erotic" symphonic material (including that Lutheran pulse-pounder Johann Sebastian Bach's Air on a G String) repackaged with pictures of Playboy-physiqued pairs of women, naked and "cuddling." All of which would be well and good -- smut and music are equally worthy pursuits -- but for the Big Demographic Lie in the press material. The original Classical Erotica was allegedly "targeted squarely at a Lesbian audience" by Rising Star Records, whose principals were "surprised" by the enthusiasm with which their product was received by both the ladies and the chaps. Well, I shouldn't be the one to point this out -- especially since it's obvious to RSR, whatever they claim -- but Judy Francesconi's woman-on-woman pictures seem aimed more at het male standards of lust than those of non-het non-males. Releasing public-domain classical as make-out music and splashing soft-focus Sapphism over the liner notes is a beautiful stratagem, but if the frat boys weren't the first to lay out greenbacks for Classical Erotica and crack open the Jergens, then Girljock better start airbrushing and publishing pictures of breast implants.

Lucky Fucks
Things just keep getting better for the mostly Bay Area-based Fuck. So much so that the slow-fi indie rockers recently drew the walleyed attention of the Chronicle. Three weeks ago, "Northern California's Largest Newspaper" dispatched intrepid arts reporter Jesse Hamlin to talk to the band and crank out a rare local music feature to banner across the weekday Datebook section.

But apparently Hamlin wasn't interested in Fuck's music. The band members say that Hamlin told them the tunes would have to take a back seat for a hook based around their zany name (referred to as F-- in the Nov. 7 story). True, the band's name offers a fine angle. But Fuck always encourage people to get beyond the name and actually listen to the songs. Hamlin, on the other hand, admitted from the get-go that he was purely a jazz aficionado and not interested in pop. Fuck insist they made the best of the situation. "It was lucky for us because that gave us the opportunity to describe our music exactly as we wanted to see it in print," says Fuck guitarist/drummer Kyle Statham.

Perhaps Hamlin (who usually writes about jazz and the symphony) couldn't be bothered. No problem, say the Fuck charmers. "San Francisco is a culturally diverse city, and the Chronicle is synonymous with this city. It is an honor to be recognized by that institution," deadpans Statham.

By Michael Batty, Jeff Stark