Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Let's see what we can do to prevent a full-blown outbreak of ergophobia, or fear of work, among those of the Sagittarian tribe. I think it may be helpful not just to permit but encourage you to engage in a healthy amount of do-nothing laziness. You need a timeout, you see; a retreat and respite; a period of dormancy. If you can satisfy these imperatives without guilt and recrimination, you may not have to resort to pathology. I urge you to call in sick tomorrow. If it would help, you can use this horoscope as your excuse note.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In California, where I live, Gov. Pete Wilson seems to get turned on by hurting people who have a hard time making enough money to live on. He apparently longs to see single mommies work 50-hour weeks, and lusts for the chance to deprive destitute immigrants of medical care, and probably even fantasizes about smashing the toys of kids whose parents are unemployed. In response, wise-guy politician John Burton has proposed legislation that would make it a crime to be poor. Of course even if his bill passes, only a tiny percentage of its violators would likely be Capricorns, at least in 1997. This is the best year in over a decade for members of your tribe to get richer quicker.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Meditation exercises: 1) Picture yourself having a dream in which you produce a flame on an unlit candle by blowing on the wick. 2) Visualize a fairy tale in which the heroine fills a cup with a magic potion by holding it upside-down over a hole in the ground. 3) Imagine yourself utterly giving up on one of your fondest hopes, only to have it fulfilled within a month after that surrender.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): I'd very much like you to practice saying yes this week. I mean YES! Wherever you are, no matter who might be listening, please speak the magic word aloud -- YES! -- 22 times in a row, preferably with a different inflection each time. Right now, please! Don't read on until you've done it. The fact is, Pisces, though I'm proud of how much expertise you've developed in the art of saying no, I fear you've become a little too good at it. At times lately, you've been invoking the n-word like an automaton. And it would be a crime to do that this week, since there'll be so many sweet reasons to scream

« Previous Page
My Voice Nation Help
Sort: Newest | Oldest
San Francisco Concert Tickets
©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.