A Loaf of Pain, A Jug of Vin France -- minus striking workers and scary toilets -- comes west for the weekend as "Marche de Mai," a Saturday market for French products, accompanied by a silent auction. This is the place to swoop on issues of Paris Match, French comic books, and newspapers, along with more obvious exports like wine, chocolate, cheese, and mustard. Auction items include a night for two at the Ritz-Carlton and dinner for two at Le Central. The event begins at 10 a.m. at the Alliance Francaise, 1345 Bush, S.F. Admission is free; call 775-7755.
Swell on Wheels Preteen superheroes the Powerbuilders combat crime, boredom, and evil casino developers by constructing specialty gadgets in an underground clubhouse and launching soapbox cars through a secret tunnel; that's the premise driving home-grown video Bernaltown, which was filmed exclusively in Bernal Heights and debuts under the stars. Neighborhood artist Gregory Gavin, armed with a Hi-8 camcorder, created a comic action film starring kids from his soapbox-building program and 75 members of the neighborhood, including beat cop Jerry Neitz; J. Raoul Brody composed the score for the half-hour film, which is preceded at 8 p.m. by a soapbox car exhibit and live music, and screens at 9 p.m. at the Bernal Playground, 500 Cortland, S.F. Admission is free; call 206-2140.
Live and Let Die It's unholy unions like Ethyl Meatplow with Jane's Addiction that led to Man's Ruin. Actually, members from both of those bands yielded the group Polar Bear, which is signed to Man's Ruin Records and plays at one of two local label showcases this weekend. Man's Ruin was founded by rock poster guru Frank Kozik (whose work adorns Bottom of the Hill and dozens of other venues). It's the point of origin, too, for the forthcoming full-length CD Project Monarch, featuring music and spoken word by the likes of Poison Idea and Adam Parfrey, as well as dozens of singles by bands ranging from the Dwarves, Killdozer, and Steel Pole Bathtub to Fu Manchu, Mover, Polar Bear, Gift Horse, and Speedbuggy, the last five of whom play the first showcase, beginning at 8 p.m. at Bimbo's 365 Club, 1025 Columbus, S.F. Admission is $10; call 474-0365. The second showcase features Acid King, Altamont, Hammerlock, and Croatan, beginning at 8 p.m. Sunday at the Kilowatt, 3160 16th St., S.F. Admission is $5; call 861-2595.
Napoleon Rues the Day "Oaxaca" is this year's theme at the Cinco de Mayo Parade and Festival, which commemorates the 135th anniversary of Mexico's Indian triumph over Napoleon's invading French army. Aztec and ballet folklorico dancers, mariachi bands, and a pride of floats cut a colorful swath through the Mission down to Civic Center, where the parade feeds into a festival featuring two stages of live music and dance performances, arts and crafts, a Fiesta Cafe, a Tropical Block, an auto show, and community service booths. The parade begins at 10 a.m. at Bryant & 24th streets and travels down 24th to Mission to Eighth Street to Market to Ninth Street to Civic Center; the festival begins at 11 a.m. at Civic Center Plaza, S.F. Admission is free; call 826-1401.
Night Lights Participants should dress warmly and comfortably, bring a wind barrier to protect their flame, and take whatever solace they can find in the 14th International AIDS Candlelight Memorial, an idea that originated here and has grown to include memorials in 357 cities worldwide. A ceremony with live music and a presentation of the "AIDS Hero and Heroine Awards" follows the march, and the Rev. Cecil Williams leads a roll call of lost family and friends, whose memory the march honors while it also calls for expanded health-care access for the living. The procession begins at 8 p.m. at Market & Castro; the program begins at 9 p.m. in United Nations Plaza, Eighth Street & Market, S.F. Admission is free; call 863-4676.
Bunny, Honey It's clear, after watching Wigstock emcee Lady Bunny working the stage all day, and then chatting up festival stragglers as she spears trash left behind in the park afterward, that this is one of the hardest-working queens in show business. That capacity to shift from microphone to Hefty bag without breaking a heel colors 24 Carrot "Lady," a new semi-autobiographical solo show by the founder of Manhattan's Labor Day drag festival. With country and disco songs, tall tales and wild outfits, Bunny describes the progression from small-town Tennessee childhood to Interview magazine contributor. The Lady Bunny performs at 10 p.m. (also Monday and Tuesday) at Josie's Cabaret & Juice Joint, 3583 16th St., S.F. Admission is $10; call 861-7933. (Bunny also serves as host at a Lypsinka show and Look-Alike/Perform-Alike Contest benefiting Project Open Hand Thursday, May 1, at 7:30 p.m. at Josie's. Admission is $35; call 392-4400.)
Gorgeous George Mission dwellers can look forward to comedian George Lopez perusing the menu at ever-expanding restaurant chain Pollo Loco: "Pollo Loco means crazy chicken. Does that sound delicious to any of you?" A favorite of director Carl Reiner, with whom he worked on Fatal Instinct, Lopez levels America's co-optation of Latino culture with an edgy, effective delivery. Casualties include the Pontiac Salsa and Taco Bell's "Run for the border" slogan ("What do they say in Mexico?" he asks. "Stay where you are?"). Lopez headlines the Cinco de Mayo Comedy Spectacular; John Allston opens at 8 p.m. at the San Francisco Airport Hyatt Regency, 1330 Bayshore, Burlingame. Admission is $20; call (510) 762-2277.