Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I've ghostwritten a Valentine message for you to use as your own, Capricorn. Copy it in your own hand, then deliver it to a companion with whom you have a relationship that has not yet reached its full potential. "Dear Braveheart: I want your love and friendship to inspire me to be cagey and daring enough to tread paths I've been too naive and timid to risk before. And I want my love and friendship to do the same for you."
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here's a shocking revelation, just in time for the Valentine season: You can have anything you really, really want if you'll only ask God for it in an unselfish tone of voice. Ah, but do you even know what you really, really want, Aquarius? Probably not. How can you know what that is when you're so busy trying to make do with the crumbs you're so used to actually getting? Make it your passionate quest in the next eight days to figure out what three experiences you want more than anything else in this life. Write it all down. And be very specific in describing the exact kind of love you really, really want.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): How I wish you would give your Valentine an emerald green parachute, Pisces, as well as ruby slippers, a canoe made out of jewels, a sad donkey clown pinata full of crickets, a Xena the Warrior Princess going-steady ring from a vending machine at the drugstore, fistfuls of sparklers, a bottle of holy water from the River Jordan, photos of lightning on a giant poster, a refrigerator magnet cast in the likeness of the Dalai Lama, and the key of life accidentally placed inside a Cracker Jack box.