Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I'd like us to do a healing visualization exercise, Capricorn. To begin, imagine a big yellow jet plane. On board, I want you to put everyone who has ever tormented, belittled, or underestimated you. See them all get on the plane, then watch it soar into the sky. Do not picture them crashing. That's bad karma. Instead, send them far away -- to Chile, maybe, or Pakistan. Have them disembark in a remote spot, and watch the plane take off again. Thereby will you banish those chimeras to a distant exile where they will forever lose their power to fill up your head with screaming curses.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Folks in the Solomon Islands have nine separate words to describe the different stages of maturation in the life cycle of a coconut. Inspired by this poetic specificity, I have decided to conjure up five phrases to describe your speedy evolution as a lover in the past few weeks. Around May 21 you were a thunderous swarm. By May 25-26 you were already turning into a blooming fury. As of June 1 you'd mutated into a succulent peach, and a few days later you were a ticklish sphinx. These days you seem to be best portrayed as a smoldering murmur, although I expect succulent peach to make a comeback any minute now.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Would you do me a favor and try to find it in your heart to believe in reincarnation? Just for this week is all I ask. Would you indulge me a little more and pretend that in one of your past lives you were an archaeologist or a miner or a funky spelunker? If you'll humor me in this matter, I can practically guarantee you'll rouse a special talent for getting to the bottom of things this week. You'll be able to dig deeper than you've ever plumbed before. And that will be excellent for your karma, dharma, and erotic charm.