REAL ASTROLOGY For an Unreal World

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): When I lived in Santa Cruz, I had a friend named Barnaby who sauntered into town on rare occasions. Combination shaman, village elder, and lunatic, he led me on fact-finding missions he called whirligigs. "Steep yourself with the intention of attracting lessons you don't know you need," he'd say, and then we'd meander the streets, going places we'd never been and striking up conversations with strangers with whom we had the least in common. Barnaby felt the whirligig was an urban version of the walkabout, which for Aborigines is a time when they wander out into the bush to visit relatives and commune with nature. I recommend the whirligig or walkabout to you now, Sagittarius.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Sufi poet Rumi composed countless verses bemoaning how ignorant we humans are of our divine nature. "We are like beautiful satin," he said once, "used to patch burlap." On most days I wail with him; I dream and scheme about recovering my own repressed memories of paradise, and pray for the inspiration to help others do the same. This week, though, Capricorn, you will likely refute Rumi and me. You'll be like beautiful satin used to patch beautiful satin.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Romans had specific names for different kinds of kisses. The chaste one given in friendship, for instance, was called an osculum. The more ardent but still partly restrained locking of the lips was a basium. And the all-out spit-swap, complete with experimental tongue action, the sudden flushing of inhibitions, and amazing explosions of bliss, was termed the savium. I thought you should know these terms, Aquarius, since you're now passing from a basium phase into a full-on savium.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): You've got to love the determination of The X-Files' David Duchovny to be irreverent toward his success. In the last episode of The Larry Sanders Show on HBO, the hunky heartthrob thoroughly messed with his sleek persona. In the throes of a crush on Larry, he put on nothing but a bathrobe and parodied the leg-spreading tease that Sharon Stone did during the interrogation scene of Basic Instinct. Do you think you're up for a comparable act of heroic self-mockery, Pisces? Nothing would be healthier for your soul than to play around with the aspects of yourself that you take most seriously.