This Is for All Those Size-1 Dresses, You Bitch!

Designer Betsey Johnson isn't known for her wet look, and she'll probably wear it like a drowned kitty, but despite all that, she has sportingly volunteered to be shoved into a swimming pool for charity at the Celebrity Pool Toss. Johnson is just one of several tantalizing candidates at this year's event, which relies on the time-tested appeals of glamour and spite to raise funds for the recreational, cultural, and educational activities that the Tenderloin Neighborhood Development Corporation arranges for that district's kids.

Anybody who's ever ridden Muni will want to bid on the chance to dunk General Manager Emilio Cruz, whose recent disappearances at the height of the Muni Meltdown -- to the hospital for surgery, to Mexico for a wedding, and so on -- began to seem a lot like a game of Where's Waldo? Tossers who shove socialite Kimberly Bakker into the drink get to soak her little dog Scooter, too, and while it's not nice to push do-gooding nuns around, the Pool Toss makes a one-night exception for homeless advocate Sister Bernie Galvin. Guests can dunk actor/comedian Robin Williams, too, although he may be funnier out of the pool than in it.

Former Saturday Night Live star Rob Schneider MC's, and Spearhead's Michael Franti entertains, along with the New Pickle Circus and the Bud E. Luv Show. The event also features catered hors d'oeuvres, a raffle, and psychic readings. It begins at 6 p.m. Wednesday at the Phoenix Hotel, 601 Eddy (at Larkin), S.F. Admission is $50; call 551-5190.

-- Heather Wisner