Dog Bites

Papering the Town
The local office of the Rainforest Action Network bombarded Bay Area media with press releases last week, urging all of us to boycott Home Depot because the chain sells products made from old-growth wood. Unfortunately, their message was, um, a little mixed.

The group's two-page fax arrived here at SF Weekly at 11:02 a.m. on Oct. 14. A duplicate two-page set appeared in the fax machine at 11:06 a.m. Without missing a beat, another duplicate two-page release quickly arrived, also stamped 11:06 a.m. -- only to be joined instantaneously by a fourth set of the release, for a grand total of eight pages of letter-sized paper.

Informed of this gross waste of resources, RAN publicist Celia Alario was initially nonplused, but she recovered quickly. "You know what may have happened?" she said. "We uploaded both a national list and a San Francisco area list. You may be on both lists. Sorry for the inconvenience."

Not half as sorry as the trees that produced the paper, we bet.

Gimmie Shelter Books
Regular readers of this column will already be aware of Dog Bites' shameful obsession with home design writing. So imagine how thrilled we were to receive a promotional copy of San Francisco Modern by our very favoritest Examiner Magazine writer -- the man who can toss off a sentence like "Despite the clearly expressed joints of its vertical members and the horizontal planes of its barely suggested rooms, the building's suspended floors seem as if they could shift easily to accommodate yet another view" as though it were nothing.

Yes, we mean Zahid Sardar.
Now, it's often seemed to us that there's a certain je ne sais quoi to the interiors we most admire, but after much careful study of this volume, Dog Bites had a design epiphany: "San Francisco Modern" is a measurable quality. Combine a few key elements, and you're so there.

Want to know if your home might qualify for inclusion in Sardar's next book? Complete our questionnaire and find out now!

1) I own one or more of the following pieces of furniture:
a) a Noguchi lamp or coffee table (+5)
b) a Le Corbusier chaise (+5)
c) a vintage Eames cabinet or folding
screen (+10)
d) a vintage Ikea kitchen table (-5)

2) My home's color scheme is:
a) all white, to set off my ever-so-daring collection of Warhol silk-screens (+5)

b) inspired by the subtle contrasts of the raw concrete, sandblasted glass, and sheet metal of the building's exterior forms (+10)

c) genius on the part of my decorator, Federico de Vera (+15)
d) chosen to blend with my pet's fur (-5)
3) My home is:
a) a warehouse-to-loft conversion (+5)
b) a particularly sensitive design by Stanley Saitowitz (+10)
c) sometimes mistaken for a very up- scale gas station (+15)
d) rent-controlled and only five minutes from a Muni line (-5)

4) My books:
a) are almost exclu- sively about art and design (+5)
b) look great arranged on my Noguchi cof- fee table (+5)
c) are crammed into my bookcases (-5)

d) I don't have any; the bindings never seem to go with anything (+10)

5) My kitchen:
a) functions as an artfully aligned central axis through which exterior vistas beckon (+15)

b) is finished in glass mosaic tile and beaten copper (+5)
c) contains no visible appliances (+10)
d) is where I cook (-5)

Scoring: Anything above five points entitles you to the deeply felt hatred of Nestor Makhno (oops! broke our promise not to mention him). Anything above 30 points qualifies you for inclusion in Sardar's next book, More Expensive Houses That Generally Look Like Bunkers.

Take the Burrito Challenge
We were horrified to learn that the best burrito place in San Francisco ... isn't in San Francisco. Or at least, that's according to David Thomsen and Derek Wilson, whose !Burritos! arrived in the Dog Bites offices this week. (Keep those free books coming, we say.)

El Farolito Taqueria gets favorable mention for its burrito al pastor ("heavenly," say the authors), while Taqueria Can-Cun is singled out for "tight construction and perfect ingredient integration." But neither Mission Street eatery could apparently come close to Redwood City's Los Gallos Taqueria.

Huh?
"The burritos are laced with a flavorful richness that is unequaled in the taqueria world," claim Thomsen and Wilson. Well, Dog Bites set out down the Peninsula to discover the truth, and, after the standard El Camino Real difficulties, can definitely say, "Yes! This is indeed a fine burrito, and the salsa is particularly outstanding."

However, we leave it to you, our readers, to make your own burrito expeditions to Redwood City and determine whether this is objectively the best taqueria in the Bay Area.

Of course, even if it is, it's unlikely Los Gallos will ever move to the city: A gallo is a rooster, and the restaurant's name is a very un-PETA-acceptable reference to cockfighting.

Los Gallos is at 3726 Florence St., in Redwood City.

As told to Laurel Wellman

Tip Dog Bites -- especially if you're disgruntled. Phone 536-8139; fax 777-1839; e-mail dogbites@sfweekly.com.

 
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