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"I'd be lying if I said I was attracted to the older guys I met," he admits. "It's usually based on the gifts."
And getting the gifts with a minimum of sex. Jay tries to get by while putting out as little as possible, seeing how long he can string the sugar daddy along, keeping him content with hugs, kisses, and maybe a hand job. Sometimes, though, even a kiss can be hard to stomach. Last New Year's Eve, Jay was stuck next to his 51-year-old boyfriend when midnight hit.
"We had to kiss, and his tongue was so cold and slimy; it felt like a turtle. I wanted to puke," Jay recalls. "He was such an old man. To me, 51 was like, death."
Often, the older man -- either for kicks or because he is unable to perform himself -- prefers to ser-vice his young boyfriend without reciprocation. "I think they like our youthful bodies or the noises we make," says Harry.
For Jay, though, sex with a sugar daddy is not easy to enjoy, even when he doesn't have to touch back. "It's rare I'll let them give me blow jobs, because I have to meditate and work up my will just to get hard," he says.
Jay also refuses to go all the way. He'll move on to a new sugar daddy before anal sex becomes an issue; then he can start the tease-for-gifts cycle over again.
But there are times he's been caught: Sitting on the couch with the "Oompa-Loompa" boyfriend one night, Jay was modeling the new clothes and jewelry he was wearing. Oompa just quietly stared, shaking his head. A month earlier, Jay had politely asked for $400 so he could buy some clothes and take his friends out. Now he was freely asking for money all the time, almost demanding it.
"Hope you're happy with all your stuff," Oompa said with a hint of sarcasm.
"Yeah, thanks," Jay replied.
"Well, I'm a little disappointed," Oompa continued. "I'm not getting anything from you."
He was talking about sex, and Jay knew it was time to either put out or move on.
"He figured out I was with him only for the money; that I was a gold digger," Jay says. "Probably for a time I was. No, I always was. I can see no other reason for being with him."
While Jay holds out on sex with his older boyfriends, the raging hormones of this 18-year-old do not go unsatisfied. Jay quenches his sex drive by secretly sleeping with friends who are his own age and -- for a few hot moments -- can offer a gift better than money.
Logg says he has had no problem letting his young boyfriends have sex with younger guys -- as long as Logg is guaranteed a piece of the action. At 70, Logg boasts an active, Viagra-free sex life, and is not scared to tumble into bed with a man 50 years his junior. "I'd love to go like Rockefeller did, and die in the saddle," he says.
Logg won't tolerate a trophy boy who refuses sex. "I'm not going to have a line of boys out my front door waiting for a handout," he says. "I'd feel taken advantage of."
For Jay, though, getting a free ride is what being a trophy boy is all about. He admits initiating dates simply because there was something expensive he wanted that he didn't feel like buying.
"It's hard not to want to go for it, when there are men out there willing to pay," Jay says. "That's when the greed steps in."
Different as their approaches to gift-taking may be, neither Harry nor Jay will allow a sugar daddy to pay the rent. Their refusals to be kept relate to the power lines in trophy-boy relationships -- who has the upper hand. The trophy-boy game can be dangerous, and savvy ones like Jay know there are plenty of ways to get burned.
"These are experienced, older men who are not stupid," he says. "If you get into this thinking it's all fun and games, you can get tossed around. There are consequences."
Especially if the twink finds himself emotionally or financially dependent on the sugar daddy. The older men are often eager to provide for their trophy boys, doling out not just money, but advice and support, saying they like to take care of their boyfriends. Harry warns of hidden agendas.
"It's a nice gesture, but sometimes I wonder if it's not so much about being nice as it is controlling you," he says. "Their offers are tempting, but I keep myself in check. I'm too smart to get caught in a trap like that."
Logg, who has played sugar daddy to four young men, concedes there is more to his attraction to young men than nubile bodies. He prefers that his trophy boys not have good jobs or drive nice cars. And they must have needs that go beyond gifts and spending cash.
"I want them to be dependent on me. I want to take care of them. I like to be in control," Logg says, arguing that many young men -- who come from split families and want father figures -- are searching for what he offers. "Maybe they'd like a little discipline. They'll get it -- and a lot of affection, too."
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