Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your body cannot tell a lie these days, Capricorn. It may be speaking a language you're not quite fluent in, though, so I'll translate: "I'm tired of the same old food and drink. Treat me to some new taste sensations. And I'm sick of wearing clothes that remind me of how I used to feel about myself. Buy me some new ones. I want a fresh image, more room to move, and a touch of beauty every day. And if you don't give it to me, now, I will force you to give it to me. I want to want more. I need to feel no guilt for feeling so needy."

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Japanese director Akira Kurosawa won an Oscar for best foreign film with his 1975 movie Dersu Uzala. Several of his other works are also regarded as classics. A couple of years before he died, though, he created a TV commercial for a yogurt-flavored drink called Calpis, "the taste of first love." No shame in that, right? Even a great artist can't be working on an exalted masterpiece every day of his or her life. And it must have been one of the finest commercials ever crafted. I hope Kurosawa's example inspires you in the coming days, Aquarius, because for you it'll definitely be more of a yogurt-flavored drink week than a Dersu Uzala week.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Now that you've worked 10,000 hours or so to finance your boss' vacation home and his wife's face lift, maybe you're finally ready to figure out how to make yourself richer. There's rarely been a more ideal time to start down the path to buying your own vacation home. In fact, I predict that a prosperous opportunity will slip into sight within the next five days -- especially if, when you finish reading this horoscope, you use a green felt-tip marker to draw a dollar sign within the shape of a heart on your palm.

« Previous Page
My Voice Nation Help
©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.