Night Crawler

A Basic Framework
Until recently, people in this part of the world defined themselves more by their fetishes than their jobs. In conversation, office politics yielded to window-ledge altars fashioned from votive candles, vintage lunch boxes, old hubcaps, croquet mallets, 3-D Jesuses, tiki mugs, worn tampons, riding crops, absinthe paraphernalia, Pez dispensers, cocktail shakers, wrestling masks, lovers' hair, Madagascar beetles, and living tarantulas (you know who you are). Some folks managed to turn their fetishes into art, some made them their vocations, and others did both, weaving them through their lives like breath.

The home Bones shares with his wife is painted the cheerful color of a fondant bonbon -- very much like all the other cheerful bonbons snuggled together on top of this neighborhood hill. The house is the same size and shape as the other houses and its front garden is located next to the stairs, just like the other gardens on the block. A person would have to be quite observant to notice anything unusual about the house, like the curious features of the rocks and stones scattered among the cacti out front.

Bones answers the door wearing a flagrant jumble of mismatched checkers and stripes. His dusky hair -- washed and combed -- remains incorrigible after decades of salt air and desert wind. He smiles, and his eyes shine out of a lean, leathery face bearing the ruddy patina of sunshine.

Once inside, the little stucco house begins to conform with its owner's roguish mien. A couch made from a great, ancient tree offers witness to ceremonial headdresses from Africa and statues from New Guinea. A deadeye dropped from a ship in the 1800s and encrusted with seashells and rocks from countless tumbles across the ocean floor stands on a low shelf among other pieces of art -- carved antlers from Bali, a perfectly rusted gasoline can, a delicate mobile made of an ostrich pelvis, totems, paintings, driftwood, and carvings. While Bones clearly relishes all of his exotic treasures, his narration becomes most demonstrative when we admire the skeletal mobile.

"Bones are architectural wonders," says Bones, fingering the bleached surface of an elephant femur. "They are masterpieces of sculpture."

Bones first fell in love with skeletal remains while attending art school, where he met his wife. "They make wonderful models," he says, matter-of-factly indicating the 110-pound pelvis that spans his 4-foot-wide fireplace. In 1954, during his 11-week cross-country camping honeymoon, Bones noticed a sun-bleached horse skeleton protruding from the dried grass of an enclosed pasture. Harvesting the armature was the beginning of two lifetime commitments. By the time the newlyweds reached California, their Ford was an exanimate menagerie of cows, sheep, deer, and horses.

After that, Bones became friendly with zookeepers and taxidermists. He began digging through 50-gallon drums behind tallow works filled with dogs and cats from the Humane Society. He wandered the beaches of Baja and collected roadkill in Australia, Mexico, and Alaska. The young couple's first apartment was littered with femurs, vertebrae, pelvic bones, and skulls. Bones used the skeletons to inspire his biology pupils at a high school in East Oakland, where he taught for over 32 years; his wife turned them into frameworks for grand paintings. Somewhere along the way Bones began gathering for natural history museums, making him one of only a handful of men in California licensed to salvage the remains of marine mammals and endangered species. The bone-collecting increased further. Animals too large to be stripped of their flesh by dermestid beetles and bacterial maceration -- elephants, hippos, giraffes, whales, and the like -- were brought home under cover of night and buried in the back yard, where they decomposed naturally. Eventually Bones' wife demanded a larger home, one where the skeletons would not crush her easel. The transition took place at night, over the course of two weeks.

"People can get freaked by a VW van full of bones," says Bones. "And there's always the chance of theft. I don't buy or sell bones -- everything goes to the museum when I die -- but there are plenty of people who would like to get their hands on a few chimpanzee skulls. People are strange." For these reasons, very few bone collectors are willing to openly talk about their collections, and fewer wives willing to put up with an extensive collection.

"When we moved, I promised I would keep the bones out of the living quarters," says Bones, indicating a large glass case holding the delicate coiled remains of several rattlesnakes -- one of which put Bones in the hospital. A glass of "swizzle sticks" made of the penis bones from bears, otters, and raccoons sits in the center of a small table cluttered with strange valuables. A stately rhino pelvis leans in one corner.

"I really like pelvic bones," says Bones. On intimate terms, it's easy to see why. Pelvic bones are comprised of some of the most graceful lines found in nature: The balance of negative space and mass is nearly sublime; stripped of their function, bones beguile light and produce a delicate impression of uninterrupted airflow and relaxed equilibrium.

Next Page »
My Voice Nation Help
©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.