Side Dish

Deep Throat
Harry's not usually one for small talk and vapid pleasantries. I pride myself on my hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners approach -- that's why I chose the eat-'em-alive restaurant beat. So I'm proud this week to bring you the question most heard at dining establishments in America's No. 1 food town: "What is up with this weather?"

"Dub"
San Francisco can no longer complain about getting the short end of the hip stick. The W is here -- so stop your complaining, put on your leather pants and shiny shirt, and get your credit-card-indebted ass down to SOMA. If you don't, city planners are threatening to zone the entire town for Chevys and TGIF use only.

Entertainment Value
Harry's down with Where the Wild Things Are -- he can't wait to bathe in milk and flour at the In the Night Kitchen Restaurant. ... The IMAX sounds cool too, as long as it doesn't cost more than 10 bucks to experience the vertigo. And yeah, we really need a zillion more square feet of gourmet fast food. I speak of the Sony Metreon complex, of course. Will it be a fun entertainment center for the Bay Area, or just another struggling amusement park looking for bailout cash in five years? Price and accessibility will definitely be a factor here.

Beached Whale
Left Coast attitude be damned: Recent roundups in North Beach show that certain factions of our liberal community just can't deal with the "al fresco" concept. Fine. The real issue here is outdoor drinking, something that cities across the States and all throughout Europe seem to be able to deal with. Looks like a few hooligans are ruining it for the rest of us -- and I'm not talking about the drunks.

And while I'm at it, will somebody please explain to poor ol' Harry how come a dining or drinking establishment is responsible for the upkeep and repairs of its adjacent sidewalks, yet has to jump through flaming hoops just to put a table outside on top of one of them?

By Harry Coverte

Know something Harry doesn't? E-mail Coverte@aol.com and sweep the dirt out from under the rug.