Leftovers

The Eating Out Drinking Game
The rules are simple. Pick a nice restaurant. Order a bottle or three of something drinkable. Begin.

The size of a "drink" may be determined by the individual group of players. Traditionally it is a sizable sip. REMEMBER: The playing of this game may lead to intoxication. Please enjoy alcohol responsibly and use taxicabs. For your own safety and the safety of others, if you have been drinking, do not drive or ride Muni.

Seating
Long wait to be seated: 2 drinks
If you are given a complimentary snack or drink because of the wait: no drinks, just enjoy the comp

Person who escorts you to your table is neither the host nor your server: 2 drinks

Host pulls out chair for you and/or places napkin in your lap: 2 drinks
Utensils missing from place setting: 1 drink per

The Server
Introduces self by name: 1 drink
Refers to you as "we" (e.g., "How're we doing here?"): 1 drink
Refolds napkin while you're in the bathroom: 2 drinks
Serves you bread with tongs: 1 drink
Has a foreign accent: 1 drink
Accent interferes with service: 2 drinks
Later overheard without accent: 3 drinks

Pushes additional food on you: 1 drink per encouragement that you resist; no drinks if you order what you're told to

Insists that you appreciate the label on the wine bottle: 1 drink
Refills wineglass for you: 2 drinks per refill
Is seen eating: 1 drink
Ask the server about an item on the menu. If it is recommended: 1 drink
If it is not recommended: 2 drinks
If you are given a detailed description of it: 2 drinks

If you are given a detailed description and then it is not recommended: 3 drinks

If the server's description is clearly uninformed and extemporized: 2 drinks

The Menu
1 drink for each of the following:
chilled soup
duck confit
oxtails
hanger steak
baby cilantro or culantro
any tataki or tartare
each esoteric word you don't know
each misspelling
any entree over $25

2 drinks for:
each prix fixe option (3 drinks if it says "degustation")
any entree over $30

3 drinks for:
a T-shirt or cap
any entree over $35

The Atmosphere
Yellow walls: 1 drink
Pepper grinders on the tables: 1 drink
Open kitchen: 1 drink
Couple overheard bickering: 1 drink
Parents meeting their offspring's girl- or boyfriend: 2 drinks
Marriage proposal and/or murder contract overheard: 3 drinks

The Meal
Dishes that aren't what you expected them to be: 1 drink per
Dishes that arrive that you didn't order: 2 drinks per
Dishes you ordered that don't arrive: 2 drinks per
Dishes that require explication ("Have you eaten here before?"): 2 drinks

Dishes that don't go with what you're drinking: order an appropriate wine, then 1 drink of that

Anything crinkle-cut: 1 drink
Medallions of anything: 1 drink
Sauce drizzled in a lovely abstract pattern: 1 drink
One of your party chokes on food: 1 drink
Something you can't finish is wrapped in a foil sculpture: 1 drink
Dessert has strawberry and/or mint leaf garnish: 1 drink

The Bathroom
All black tile: 1 drink
Tacky art: 1 drink
Potpourri: 1 drink
Cloth towels: 1 drink
Air dryer: 1 drink
A line to get in: 1 drink per person ahead of you

If you don't visit the bathroom at all during the course of the game: 4 drinks

Dessert Menu
1 drink for each of the following:
cheese plate
cookie plate
banana-chocolate dessert
butterscotch dessert
lumpia

The Check
Smiley face on check: 1 drink
Erroneous charges: 2 drinks each

You argue over the math: 2 drinks for the person who gets off paying the least

The Outcome
Nearby table complains about you: 2 drinks per table
Nearby table leaves because of you: 4 drinks per table

Restaurant cuts you off (just you, not the whole table): embarrassing. You lose. Before dessert: doubly so.

Your table is asked to leave: 8 drinks (elsewhere); anyone who can stand after that wins!

Meal ends uneventfully: no winner -- play again.

By Paul Adams