Savage Love

I'm a 32-year-old male, my girlfriend is 39. We've been having sex for about a month, and she insists I shouldn't wear condoms. She also tells me not to worry about giving her an orgasm, telling me to concentrate on having my own (I'm taking an antidepressant, so it's sometimes difficult for me to come). I've never seen her take a birth control pill, or seen any pills in her handbag or in her bathroom. Does it sound as if my girlfriend wants to get pregnant? Or am I being paranoid? How do I raise this issue with her without getting her upset?

Possibly Paranoid

Would you rather raise this issue and upset your girlfriend, or pay child support for the next two decades while your ex-girlfriend raises your issue, i.e., the child you're likely to conceive? The combo of her slightly suspicious behavior and her age should make you paranoid. If she were using birth control, there would be some evidence of it in the house; if she's 39 and childless, her biological clock is probably booming the hours until she's not able to conceive.

Lots of women have tricked men into getting them pregnant -- which is a lowdown, shitty, cuntoriffic thing to do, ladies -- and if you don't want to be someone's daddy, pull it out and keep it out until you have some assurance that there's no egg-meets-sperm action going on. Until you know she's using birth control -- or that she's sterile or a post-op male-to-female transsexual -- don't put your dick back in there without a condom on it, dumb ass.

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