Rock Star or Celebrity Chef: That Is the Question

Perhaps you are considering a career as a rock star or a celebrity chef. Or perhaps you encounter one or the other in daily life but have difficulty telling which is which. Here are a few quick pointers for distinguishing the two.

Rock Star Celebrity Chef

Body type Skinny Fat

Pants Tight leather Baggy houndstooth

Standard equipment Stratocaster; Wood-fired stove
mandolin; Marshall stack

Specialty equipment Theremin Melon baller

Foundation The rhythm section The starch

Drawing power Fill the house Fill the house
every night every night

Employment Vegas, off Consulting
the strip after washed up

Typical names Sting; BonoHubert; Jeremiah

Typical organization Slayer; The Who; Aqua; Chez Panisse;
namesThird Eye BlindHawthorne Lane

Typical tantrum Shoot the TV Substitute frozen
shrimp for fresh

Typical hits"Wonderwall"Roast squab with foie gras
emulsion and green lentils

How to get a glimpse Backstage passPeer into the kitchen on
behind the scenesthe way to the bathroom

ViceCocaineRed wine

Popular harmonyC, E, and GSkate and capers

PerspirationA lotA lot

Number of coversTwo or three400 at most per night

FusionJazz/rockItalian/Thai

SetbackBreak a stringRun out of walnut oil

SupportOpening bandsWaiters

LackeysRoadiesPrep cooks

After an evening's Drugs, hot sexClean up, go home
performance

 
My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
 
©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.
Loading...