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National Features >
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Michele Bachmann, Unmuzzled
You don't need to read Sarah Palin's book to hear the ravings of a mad woman.
By Matt Snyders
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The rise and fall of a chubby sex-cult leader.
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By Sam Merten
Rock Star or Celebrity Chef: That Is the Question
Perhaps you are considering a career as a rock star or a celebrity chef. Or perhaps you encounter one or the other in daily life but have difficulty telling which is which. Here are a few quick pointers for distinguishing the two.
Share
By Paul Adams
Published on August 18, 1999
Rock Star Celebrity Chef
Body type Skinny Fat
Pants Tight leather Baggy houndstooth
Standard equipment Stratocaster; Wood-fired stove
mandolin; Marshall stack
Specialty equipment Theremin Melon baller
Foundation The rhythm section The starch
Drawing power Fill the house Fill the house
every night every night
Employment Vegas, off Consulting
the strip after washed up
Typical names Sting; BonoHubert; Jeremiah
Typical organization Slayer; The Who; Aqua; Chez Panisse;
namesThird Eye BlindHawthorne Lane
Typical tantrum Shoot the TV Substitute frozen
shrimp for fresh
Typical hits"Wonderwall"Roast squab with foie gras
emulsion and green lentils
How to get a glimpse Backstage passPeer into the kitchen on
behind the scenesthe way to the bathroom
ViceCocaineRed wine
Popular harmonyC, E, and GSkate and capers
PerspirationA lotA lot
Number of coversTwo or three400 at most per night
FusionJazz/rockItalian/Thai
SetbackBreak a stringRun out of walnut oil
SupportOpening bandsWaiters
LackeysRoadiesPrep cooks
After an evening's Drugs, hot sexClean up, go home
performance
foam order.com
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