Dog Bites

Summer in the City; I See Dead People; Worker's Playtime

Worker's Playtime
Driving home last Thursday, Dog Bites had the -- well, how to put this? -- unusual experience of having someone deliberately try to hit us with her white SUV (corner of Haight and Masonic, approximately 6:10 p.m., bleached blonde angry that Muni bus had gone off wires in her lane).

At least, we were hoping this sort of thing was unusual. But we're afraid it's not. There is a sense, simmering away in this once-mellow city, that a lot of people out there are really, really crazy, and the more we bring this up with people we know, the more scary stories we hear. Which makes us wonder: If San Francisco is so wonderful, and we're all so lucky to be here, why are there so many angry, nasty people in the city?

Well, basically, everyone who lives here thinks he or she is being screwed: screwed on rent, screwed on parking, screwed out of a choice of places to live, screwed every time they try to drive across town, screwed by the loud yuppie neighbors, screwed out of time to relax, screwed by the junkies from the next block who've tried to break in twice, screwed on salary, screwed on stock options (especially if they don't have any), screwed out of ever being able to buy a home, and, most galling of all, screwed out of ever being able to get into Ruby Skye.

But despite these dire portents Dog Bites is oddly happy: The Ikea opening is now mere days away, and while we're normally too dysfunctional to believe anything good is going to happen until it actually does, and sometimes not even then, we find ourselves putting what's left of our faith into knock-down Swedish furniture. We're not alone; people keep calling us to confess to similar feelings of helpless optimism at the prospect of wandering through acres (yes! acres! this will be the biggest Ikea store in California!) of tastefully modern vignettes before hauling home a flat-pack étagère.

Who says social democracy can't help America?

Tip Dog Bites -- especially if you're disgruntled. Phone 536-8139; fax 777-1839; e-mail dogbites@sfweekly.com.

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