Slacker's Paradise

The old daily grind getting you down? Still finding yourself a magnet for funny looks and name-calling? Fear not, thy kingdom is at hand. Because tonight the forces of Bob collide in the SubGenius Post-Apocalyptic Devival Tour 2000, which promises, along with gratuitous perversions and other abominations, to save your soul ... for a price.

For those not aware of the Church of the SubGenius, a few historical tidbits. With his firebrand salesman's swagger, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs preached the gospel of Slack to freaks, misfits, and the otherwise afflicted, inviting them to join a religion that would accept them for who they were, if they ponied up their membership dollars. Like members of every other religion, SubGenii are encouraged to heap scorn on nonbelievers; unlike most, there are no provisions against fornication, weird behavior, or other deviations. Since its early beginnings, the SubGenius mythology has grown by leaps and bounds, culminating in the prediction of a July 5, 1998, apocalypse that was to have seen aliens descending to take those who have Slack to visit the alien sex goddesses, while all Normals would be destroyed.

In these post-End of Days days, we've got to keep the fever high, and tonight's devival brings together Sacred Scribe of the Church the Rev. Ivan Stang, early adherent and local luminary Dr. Howland Owll (aka Hal Robins), the ringleading antics of Chicken John, and madness from Attaboy & Burke. While the inner sanctum of SubGenius won't reveal what's entirely in store, we've heard reports that some Church members may in fact commune with Bob himself. Also on the roster, raw-meat-and-naked-flesh rock from Woodpussy, and mysterious wonders from the Naked Fire Babes. The devival begins Saturday, May 13, at 10 p.m. at the Justice League, 628 Divisadero (at Hayes), S.F. Salvation is $10; call 440-6409.