Dog Bites

I Just Ate a Cake and I Hate Myself; Please, No Phone Calls; Art for the Masses; We're Number ... Seven!

Other art on display includes two large color blowups of works from the Burnout Project, spectacular scrawlings of burned rubber on the pavement in front of blandly glass-skinned Silicon Valley office buildings. "That's the Oracle headquarters," Overfelt told us as we toured the show.

There is also a single tire mark on heavy white paper hanging in signifi- cant isolation on one wall. Dog Bites, immediately struck by how cool the piece would look over our couch, inquired as to the price. "Well, there's been some controversy about that," said Overfelt. "It's, uh, $1,200."

On hand for the festivities were two statuesque and significantly saline-enhanced blond models in stars-and-stripes thong bikinis. When we complimented Overfelt on the authentic car show atmosphere the models helped create he admitted they were a last-minute addition. "I ordered them off the Web," he said.

We're Number ... Seven!
While we're sure most of our readers already subscribe to the Business Times, we just want to note here that SF Weekly is, according to that publication, the seventh most-read newspaper in the entire Bay Area. The Chronicle is, uh, No. 1, followed by the Wall Street Journal and the San Jose Mercury News. The Weekly, the only alternative paper on the list, beat the Marin Independent Journal,the Examiner,and the Tri-Valley Herald.

What is particularly shocking to Dog Bites, however, is that the Weekly achieved this level of readership without providing the kind of practical service the Mercury News did last week, when the headline on the Merc's top story Fri- day bragged, "VCR Clocks Tell Time Again." Apparently, thanks to quick action by alert Merc reporter David Wilson, Northern Californians are once more able to program their VCRs properly. A faulty time signal broadcast by San Jose PBS affiliate KTEH had been causing victims' VCR clocks to run 24 minutes fast. (Let's just admit right here that Dog Bites, who has yet to tape a thing off KTEH, had no idea this was even a problem.) Wilson, a sidebar to the story noted, contacted a senior engineer at PBS headquarters in Virginia, who helped the local station's engineer make the necessary change "in minutes."

We are sure we are only one amongst the many heaving sighs of relief.

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