Dog Bites

Hawaiian Shirts, Expensive Condos, and the Hoochie People

Actually, looking at the Olive & Bette's catalog that just arrived in our office mailbox this morning, we believe we can definitely say the hoochie look is continuing strong this spring; therefore, Dr. Habitrail, we cannot consider hoochies to be true members of a disadvantaged class, particularly as so many of them can afford metallic leather garments and fakies. Nice try, though.

Speaking of lines of credit -- transitions like these are why Dog Bites has won the hearts of San Franciscans -- we really do wonder what the increasing numbers of laid-off dot-commers are living on. Reader Im Leviathan, whose company went through serious layoffs in November, thinks those with the least work-force experience are also least likely to take the economic downturn seriously. "The dotcom I work for was in the red with [the younger workers] on the payroll. Now it is in the black," he writes. "I have since gone to a party thrown by one of these kids, and at the party I discovered that only three (out of thirty) had a job. Of those three, one was in his late thirties, one was 30, and one was in his early forties. Not one of the other kids had even started looking."

Youth at risk! If that's not a dummy light on Bush's dashboard, we don't know whatis.

Valentine's Day Message Corner

We are sorry the column must devolve into silliness now, but it just wouldn't be Feb. 14 at our office without a marriage proposal. Reader Kevin Ellis writes:

Dear Dog Bites,
I love you, I love you, I love you.
Please consider marrying me, as I am super nice.
Love always,
ps My hobbies include bourbon and Excedrin

Well, Kevin, despite the fact that it sounds as though we have a lot in common, Dog Bites will, regretfully, have to turn you down. But thanks for asking, and if we ever do get those T-shirts printed up, we'll be sure to send you one.

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