"My goal is to work with Cambodian kids," he says. "Help establish a community. It's pretty weak right now. That's what the basketball team is about. As a group, education is the most important issue for the Cambodian community. The adults are pretty much gone. They can't parent their kids, and they don't understand peer pressure. On the other hand, the second generation is lost.
"So last summer we wanted to experiment and get 10 Cambodian guys from the neighborhood -- all dropouts, some in gangs -- and get them in a room and train them on how to use a camera. And it's to challenge the system. Because you have to give opportunities to these kids. If you don't, they can't succeed. It doesn't matter if they're a gangster or if they didn't graduate from school, just give them an opportunity."
Paul Trapani
Siv (left), Spencer Nakasako (right), with youth center film student. Some
participants have gone on to college, others to jail.
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But even with his dedication and good intentions, Mike is watching guys slip through the cracks. And he says that because the Cambodia trip had such an effect on him, it's getting harder to watch the same guys doing the same thing, even though he tries to help them.
"Of the 50 guys I know, I've probably been beneficial to five," he says. "That hurts me. One guy got arrested last week. You work with them for two or three years and they drop out of school. Five guys I know are doing decent. I gave them an option and they saw that it was a good way. But I don't know if it's worth it. I have a lot of guilt. To see 22-year-old guys that I've known since I was 10 selling drugs in front of my face ... I take it like a stab in the heart. Did I do something wrong? Either they didn't learn from me or I didn't give them the right options."
Even Paul and David are back to doing nothing, he says. Nakasako asked them to help edit the film, but they both declined.
"Spencer helps kids out," David says. "But to me, what he done teach me, people try to teach me before. I been there. He try to help me out, but I been there. They don't relate. Mike think he do, but he don't. That's why I argue with him."
"Before, I was excited, but it got hard," Paul adds. "The filming was too much. The editing was too much. Sitting in front of a computer, you got to be patient. But I did learn a lot, and people say I got it quick."
Mike thinks David and Paul are just making excuses for themselves. Though he's frustrated, Mike still plays the big brother role, joking around with David on the basketball court, or complimenting Paul on a nice shot. David and Paul still consider Mike a mentor and a friend.
But their relationship is changing. On the surface, David and Paul remain the same, while the Cambodia trip has made Mike a different person.
"In Cambodia, [David and Paul] stepped up because they had to," Mike says. "Once they got back here, they don't have to. So they're back to being Mr. Independent. I see myself in them. Family, war, separation, we share all that. Pride. I have pride, too. But I can't say I share their viewpoint on life.
"Why are they like this? Because the TL has no opportunities. Because their families make up excuses for them. I went through that, but there were opportunities here [at the center]. The difference is, I took the opportunities."To help keep at-risk teens out of trouble, a Tenderloin nonprofit gives them cameras to make films about their lives. The movies win awards, but do they keep kids off the street?
