The Sindecency of It All

Experiencing the cheeky sensuality of "Sin" is something you'll always prepent

"She bites, she kicks. She's a very evil pony," Smith warns to a few men who linger nearby, trying to look casual as they gape.

"Lust is my favorite sin," says Smith, who attended Catholic school in Kansas City until the 10th grade, "but I am sort of a carrier of envy. It's pretty easy to make people envy me." Smith smacks Evil Pony Girl's rump, and she trots off to the bathroom on horse hoof-shaped shoes. The other men watch her go.

"St. Augustine considered the 'eagerness to watch' a sin," whispers Morgause, a redhead in an emerald-green satin corset. "I believe the only sin is confusing one person for another. You must really see the person you're looking at."

Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.
Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.
Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.
Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.
Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.
Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.
Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.
Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.
Evil Pony Girl.
Paul Trapani
Evil Pony Girl.

"I'd like to look at you," offers a clumsy suburban divorcé who is exploring his "wild" side. "Sin's fun." Morgause curls her lip delicately, points him toward the dance floor, and gives him a little shove.

"It's the guilt that makes forbidden fruit taste so sweet," agree Sofieand the Gin-Soaked Girl, two wayward Catholic girls from North Carolina in matching pigtails and white pinafores.

"I am an ambidextrous, bisexual switch," says the Gin-Soaked Girl with an angelic smile, "which means I'll do anyone, anywhere, anyhow."

"That's just fine, but lust and gluttony are not tonight's theme sins," gripes Verdigris, a hyper-femme boy poet. "Though gluttony is, arguably, at the base of every sin, the sin of the hour is envy, and I reek of it."

"I want your shoes and your jacket and your little horns!" shouts Ryan Maleclipsefrom the pulpit, where Cardinal Seven Dudley Sinnehas just crowned him Mr. Envy 2002.

Miss Envy 2002, Octavia, descends the stairs with tears on her cheeks and horns in her hair. Her winning confession regarding Barbie ("That bitch") and Martha Stewarthad induced a fit of rapture from the congregation and the spontaneous chanting, "Fuck Barbie! Fuck Barbie! Fuck Martha Stewart! Fuck Martha Stewart!"

"I've never felt so welcome," sniffs Octavia. "Or so proud. Oooh, that's a sin, too, isn't it? Maybe I'll use that for the next Midnight Mass."

"I love the pomp and circumstance of it," says Jenny Hinchcliff. Despite her nonreligious upbringing, Hinchcliff has been collecting Catholic artifacts and liturgical objects since she was a teenager. "It's sort of like high camp for Mormons."


"Sin" is held on the second Thursday of every month. August's theme is Lust. Go to www.firstchurchsecondthursday.com for details.

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