The Firm

The curiously compelling rock cocks of Cynthia Plaster Caster

The sculpture rises out of a wave as if inspired by the sand, water, and lime in which it is confined. The lines are fluid, supple, and strangely powerful, providing some physical evidence of a private imperative, as it surges into the ether, displacing the air in a frozen quest. Despite the chalk-white immutability of the plaster cast, it is bursting with personality. It seems to hold its breath and cock its head with playful uncertainty; elegant veins curl along its shank, infusing the cold façade with the warmth and texture of curious flesh. It is a masterstroke, both conceptually and structurally, and of its organic origin there can be no doubt. A small name tag sits at its base: Ivan Karamazov.

"Aesthetically, that's one of my favorite sweet babies," says Cynthia Plaster Caster, pointing to the plaster cast of Howard Jay Patterson, the Flying Karamazov Brothers' founding "member."

"There was more to him than that," assures Cynthia. "He was so cute I had to get in on the plating action."

Cynthia Plaster Caster (center) and "platers" Iva (left) 
and Harlow.
Paul Trapani
Cynthia Plaster Caster (center) and "platers" Iva (left) and Harlow.

When preparing a mold, the plating -- a British term for cock fluffing -- is a task more typically handled by a wife, girlfriend, or eager cohort, so that Cynthia remains free to carefully mix and monitor the alginates that will capture the raw excitement of the sometimes all-too-fleeting moment.

"She's really quite the scientist," says Harlow, a former member of the Cockettes and one of Cynthia Plaster Caster's most prolific platers. "Very focused. Very serious. Mixing and measuring and counting."

"We got to have all the real fun," agrees Iva, still excited about the prep work she did for cockney songwriter Anthony Newley33 years after the fact.

"Yeah, the project kind of backfired on me," chortles Cynthia.

The project, whose genesis was an art school assignment to cast a solid object in plaster, began in the mid-'60s, when Cynthia (who doesn't use her last name, out of fear that her mother might find out) and her best friend Pestasked Paul Revere & the Raidersto supply something hard. While Cynthia didn't get a mold that night, she did get laid for the first time, and the Plaster Casters of Chicagowere born. They made a portable casting kit and began haunting dressing rooms. It would be two years and countless shows later before the original famous dick was plunged into a bucket of goo for all posterity, but it quickly became the stuff of legend.

"Everyone expected him to be enormous," says 21-year-old Bryan Panian, making minuscule adjustments to the dozens of plaster penises trapped under glass in the ArtRock Galleryshowroom, "but it wasn't that big of a deal."

Perhaps not by porn star standards, but by rock star standards, Jimi Hendrixstill stands a full head above the rest, at least in the Plaster Caster lexicon. And girth, I'm told, should not be disregarded.

"The alginates are cold," says Cynthia in defense of her babies. "And people usually expect this to be a really sensual experience, but it's pretty clinical. My focus is on the mold. I usually wear an old shirt and an apron. Guys get nervous, you know. Two minutes can be a long time. It's really not as easy as it looks."

Far from looking easy, some of the casts make it look downright impossible, like the thick, fleshy corkscrews created by Hendrix bass player Noel Redding, Pop Will Eat Itselffrontman Clint "Poppie" Mansell, and Muffs bassist Ronnie Barnett.

"Gravity," explains Cynthia, arranging casts of Peaches' oddly proportioned breasts alongside those of the inhumanly perfect Margaret Doll Rod. "If the flesh is soft and malleable the alginates can twist it. I really like the curved ones though -- they're kind of cuddly, you know. My sweet babies, all of them are beautiful, but they may not be an accurate representation of their full, um, potential."

Thankfully, some of them come pretty close: Mekons' Jon Langford, Jesus Lizard's David Yow, and the Bay Area's own Jello Biafra leave the teeming opening-night crowd fairly well satisfied.

"I came to see Jimi," says 31-year-old Kerith Pickett, "but I was pretty impressed with Jello. Made me kind of proud. Chock one up for punk rock."

"Yeah, but can you imagine being that guy?" asks Panian, pointing to an alabaster slug called Joel Coplon. "That was Cynthia's first cast; he was just one of Cynthia's friends. You can kind of see why." It won't be the last statement of its like this evening.

Despite the variety of forms proudly displayed in Cynthia's collection, many of her male admirers cannot look beyond the personal discomfort of "misrepresentation." Some of them beg for an audition, assuring her platers that, given the opportunity, they would do much, much better than their famed predecessors.

"Bigger is not always better," explains Iva. "Cynthia is not a size queen, she's an artist, and when it comes right down to it, it's all about the music. She won't cast anyone if she doesn't love the music. This is her tribute, her expression of love for rock 'n' roll."

"It's brilliant," says 35-year-old Donna Crossman, a super Caster fan who, along with her husband, waited tonight in a line that stretched around the block. "She's an inspiration to rock chicks everywhere."

Next Page »
My Voice Nation Help
San Francisco Concert Tickets
©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.