Absolutely Fabulous

Transformed by a romanticized airport novel, our heroine constructs a strangely compelling life

Bordelon spends her entire eight-hour workday on a computer, but lured by her love for the Ya-Yas she often returns home to log onto the Internet. Most evenings, her keyboard clicks rapidly as she chats with other Zeau Zeaus on their private Internet bulletin board, "the back porch." Between reading the posts and typing her own, Bordelon often erupts into unexplained and gleeful guffaws; her husband, sitting on the couch a few yards away, just shakes his head.

But with the heat cranked up in her cozy Livermore home one cold January night, Bordelon takes a break from the computer and positions herself on the living room floor with the Zeau Zeau photo album of "divine secrets" spread before her. As she flips through the massive book, she points out her favorite pictures and chuckles at the memory of them.

"Did I tell you about Ya-Ya Photo Shoot Day?" she says, pointing to a few collaged prints. "All of those pictures come from that. We're such crackheads. We were laughing so hard!"

Donning boas and tiaras, the Zeau Zeau Fleurs meet 
for slumber parties, themed luncheons, and 
weekend getaways.
Donning boas and tiaras, the Zeau Zeau Fleurs meet for slumber parties, themed luncheons, and weekend getaways.
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood has 
become the bible of female bonding.
Paolo Vescia
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood has become the bible of female bonding.

She turns a page. "There's Wy. There's Ame. And Susan. There's one with Rebecca [Wells]." She points to a picture in which she seems to be scaling a BART train's handrail, her back to the camera. "Here I was pole-dancing, and Natalie grabbed my ass."

Suddenly, Bordelon stops, midflip. She remembers a story that she was going to tell before she got distracted with dinner. It's come back to her in a flash, and she's already cackling at the thought of it.

"Oh my God, that's what I was going to tell you!" she cries. "There was this thing on the radio about becoming a minister online. [Dramatic pause.] I did. I am now the Reverend Princess Fed Up to Here! I shit you not. So we're all thinking of becoming reverends; we can be the Royal Priestesses of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Really fucking hilarious. I'm a real bona fide reverend!"

Bordelon flashes her high-wattage grin, as proud as a new convert. "I'm going to start the Church of Leigh," she declares. "It's God above all else, and treat your neighbor as you'd treat yourself -- and then you pretty much hurt nobody. It'll be free flow, free love, fuck everyone else."

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