Heavy Metal

Southern Exposure's blast from the past

SAT 4/12

Clad in spandex halter tops, crotch-hugging short shorts, and lamé leg warmers, the Solid Golddancers gave new meaning to the term "boob tube." The '80s TV show supposedly counted down the top songs in the country, but the racy stars were undoubtedly the main attraction. It's unlikely most couch potatoes were tuning in to watch Wayland Flowers chatting it up with his diva dummy, Madame.This year, the nonprofit artists' organization Southern Exposure has named its annual fund-raiser "Solid Gold," and, like its namesake, the shindig promises stellar people-watching ops. Club kids, artists, and serious collectors are expected to attend, in a scene that's worlds apart from the typical staid art auction. In terms of costumes, anything goes: This is one party where bad taste is encouraged. And not to worry -- if you're fresh out of frosted blue eye shadow, a band of makeup artists from M-A-C cosmetics will be on hand to loan you some. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. at Southern Exposure at Project Artaud, 401 Alabama (at 17th Street), S.F. Admission is $30-50; call 863-2141 or visit www.soex.org. --Lisa Hom

America's F**king Sweetheart

SUN 4/13

The capitalist system must not be working very well if major corporations allow the public access to a gal who doesn't hate herself. Vendors know damn well that given half a chance, most teenage girls would be normal-sized, goofy, opinionated, cuss-o-riffic, and smart -- like Kelly Osbourne. But they're scared stiff that if that happened, those same girls would stop buying their products. Silly vendors: Happy girls want to buy tons of stuff, too, like funny clothes, loud guitars, hair dye, and tickets to see their brash-talking idol. The Daughter of Darkness' debut album, Shut Up, has gotten surprisingly good reviews, with comparisons to Hole and Blondie rather than Avril or Christina. But Osbourne doesn't put stock in critics' opinions. "I don't care if people take me seriously as an artist," she's often quoted as saying. Kelly's just in it to have a f**king good time, like any real punk. Catch her at 8 p.m. at the Fillmore, 1805 Geary (at Fillmore), S.F. Admission is $20; call 346-6000 or visit www.thefillmore.com. -- Hiya SwanhuyserTwisted flicks for twisted folks

FRI-SAT 4/11-12

San Francisco's film festival scene has reached panic proportions. It seems every other day there's a new one, and they range from bloated white-tie affairs to minisurveys of the tantalizingly obscure. The aptly named Sick Puppy Festival, a collection of shorts that runs only a few hours total, occupies the rich cesspool of bottom-feeding fests, a phrase the creators would surely cheer. Its theme? The glories of all things gross.The titles speak for themselves: Don't Mix Paint With Blood, World's Best Drug, Sickness, and Night of the Dumper. This is the anti-PC festival, with plenty of nudity, gore, and what the organizers refer to as "mature subject matter." Few viewers will remain unmoved by the sight of an angry toilet hurling a bloody tampon at the naked girl who just deposited it (Killer Krapper); or the cartoon superhero in a straitjacket disemboweling a ghoul (Extreme Man and Insane Boy); or the happy-go-lucky homeless boyz of Bum Runner duking it out over aluminum cans. (Fans of '70s sitcoms will welcome the return of Fred "Rerun" Berry of What's Happening!!, who appears in Bum Runner racing along in a shopping cart, screaming for his stolen cans.)

Two features will also show during the day on Saturday: God Made Man(2 p.m.), a scatological satire of corporate life, and Golliwog's Cake Walk(4 p.m.), an erotic ode to New York strippers. The Pup's brand of humor is especially timely now, putting madness where it belongs -- on screen. Evening show times are 7:15 and 9:15 at the Red Vic Movie House, 1727 Haight (at Clayton), S.F. Admission is $7; call 668-3994 or visit www.redvicmoviehouse.com. -- Gary MorrisPEACE OUT

SAT 4/12

International ANSWER (Act Now to Stop War and End Racism) is the coalition that's been organizing global anti-war marchessince October of last year. The group is made up of churches, labor unions, teachers, and little old ladies in tennis shoes, among others. Now they're at it again with the first major planned demonstration since the bombs started dropping last month. Will the Liberation Brass Band be there? There's only one way to find out. Noon at Civic Center Plaza; call 821-6545 or visit www.internationalanswer.org. -- Hiya SwanhuyserATOMIC ENERGY

THUR 4/10

Filmmaker Atom Egoyan isn't exactly known for making people laugh -- he's the director of brilliant feel-bad movies like The Sweet Hereafter -- so it's interesting when he describes an early feature, Family Viewing, as "humorous." The flick is a collection of found images from surveillance cameras, home movies, and porn. Egoyan talks after a 7 p.m. screening at SFMOMA, 151 Third St.; call 357-4177. -- Hiya Swanhuyser

 
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