Best Mortuary

It's never too soon to plan for your passage into the next world (assuming it exists). And if you're thinking cremation, Pacific Interment is the place to go. After all, it was tacitly endorsed by no less than Jessica Mitford, author of The American Way of Death, her famous exposé of the funeral industry, who chose to be cremated at Pacific's pretty green building surrounded by those trees that look like giant asparagus. The biz is family-run. With several on-site chapels and their own oven, the friendly but appropriately somber proprietors can "maintain complete control over the process of disposition." In other words, don't worry, we won't throw the ashes of your dear departed out with the kitty litter. The facility offers a guaranteed price via a Pre-Need Trust Plan, designed for those who prefer not to stick their loved ones with post-parting consumer debt. A cremation can be had for as little as $830 (if you provide the container).