Eyes on the Pride, Asses in the Clubs

In the little multi-culti, politically correct oasis of San Francisco, it's easy to take the city's annual Pride Parade and associated celebration for granted. After all, if you've seen one drawn-out, too-long Pride Parade, you've pretty much seen them all. At least that's the attitude of hip, cosmopolitan, "been there, done that" city denizens -- in other words, just about everyone who lives here.

When you live in a town where one in every five people is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, it is easy to get blasé about Pride. After all, what's so special about being gay? Hell, even the straight people here are often open-minded enough to at least be bi-curious.

But no matter how cynical you may be about this coming week, you're lucky to live in a place where you can just be yourself, no matter who you are, or whom you sleep with. So whether you're a sweater queen, lipstick lesbian, leather daddy, drag queen, bull-dyke, or any other color of that ubiquitous rainbow, you owe it to yourself to get your ass out there and represent!

WEDNESDAY JUNE 25

Behind the Make Up

LGBT Center

1800 Market (at Octavia)

7 p.m. reception, 8 p.m. show

$10-$15 sliding scale

Join the 24 Carrot Lady from NYC and me for an evening of glittering discussion and sparkling wit, as well as a bonus performance by yours truly and Miss Thing. DJ Taffy D will play talk show hostess.

THURSDAY JUNE 26

Pornocopia

Lexington Club

3464 19th St. (between Mission and Valencia)

9 p.m.

Free

Everyone's fave dyke bar, the Lexington, turns into the SeXXXington with dirty, filthy drag performances by Rusty Hips, Crickett Bardot, and Paul Wanka. Sexy contests and DJ Waxmaster C are sure to make this a memorable sleazefest.

3 Punk Bands and a Drag Queen

Red Devil Lounge

1695 Polk (at Clay)

9 p.m.

$6

Cosmetics heiress Alisha Amnesia's fifth installment of her popular, balls-to-the-wall shindig melds the high glamour of the night's given tranny hostess (TBA for this night, but previous MCs have included Jordan L'Moore and Metal Patricia) with a full-on assault by the evening's three up-and-coming punk bands (also TBA; call 921-1695 for details). Drag queens get in free!

FRIDAY JUNE 27

Cheap Trick

The Stud Bar

399 9th St. (at Harrison)

10 p.m.-4 a.m.

$6 (free with college I.D.)

Nightlife impresarios Jeff and Gary (of Love Haight Lounge, Zodiac, and Reform Skool fame) hit big with this electro, indie, old-school, pop, rock party. Everyone's welcome, as long as you don't mind some hardcore homo cruising action. ... Enter the best buns contest!

Three Sheets to the Wind

SomArts Theater

934 Brannan (at Ninth St.)

8 p.m.

$12 advance/$15 at the door

NYC Drag King numero uno and nightlife icon Murray Hill hosts (with the world-renowned Wau Wau sisters) this jaw-dropping three-person variety show with a few cheesy songs, plenty of audience participation, and his irresistible shtick.

SATURDAY JUNE 28

Dyke March

Dolores Park Stage (Daytime)

Market St. Stage (Evening)

The largest dyke gathering in the world celebrates its 10th year with a peace theme and two stages of entertainment. Bintlal Thwara of the Arab Women's Solidarity Association is one of the day's keynote speakers. Live music includes the Woodyz, Chi-Chi Palace, and Orquesta D'Soul. Also, spoken word performances, DJs, dancers, and drag kings -- the Disposable Boy Toys.

hillgirlz After Dyke March Queer Girlz Dance Party

LGBT Center

1800 Market (at Octavia)

9 p.m.-2 a.m.

$15 includes one drink

This will be the party all the girls will attend to massage each other's aching bunions. Expect this to be rowdy, as the ladies will be overtaking the center's downstairs, upstairs, and patio.

Pink Saturday

Castro between Market and 19th

The world's gayest neighborhood closes to traffic this night as thousands of screaming fags descend upon it -- can't they wait until Sunday? Apparently not, and neither should you. This year should be tons of fun with the addition of a rock 'n' roll stage on Castro and 19th featuring Pepperspray, Fabulous Disaster, the Whoa Nellies, and Shawna Virago and the Deadly Nightshade Family. All right Marys, let's raaaaaawk!

SUNDAY JUNE 29

You've Gotta Give Them Hope!

San Francisco Gay Pride 2003

The Parade starts at Market and Beale at 10 a.m. (note that it starts half an hour earlier this year!) and comes to an end at Civic Center.

Main Stage Events

In front of City Hall on Polk between Grove and McAllister

The organizers of Pride have been unable to secure any entertainment this year nearly as fabulous as the B-52s two years ago or last year's Marc Almond and Dead or Alive, but the hilarious Marga Gomez is scheduled to be the grand marshal this year. Some other acts of interest:

1:05 Pepperspray

3:00 Klymaxx

4:30 Bonnie and June Pointer (formerly of the Pointer Sisters)

5:45 Jennifer Holliday

Gay Pride at the Cherry Bar

917 Folsom (at Fifth St.)

4 p.m.

Free

Mariah Hanson's Cherry Bar hosts this post-Parade party for girls (think lipstick, ladies), featuring hot go-go babes with the best in hip hop and reggae all night.

Club Faith

715 Harrison (at Third St.)

9:30 p.m.

$7 with flyer before 10:30

S.F.'s only 18-and-over mega-club! Those underage cuties (notice I didn't say chickens) need a place to party, and this is it. Great sound system, with DJ Blackstone spinning house and R&B. Sorry, no guest list tonight.