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Have you ever wondered what would happen if indie rock's prominent players were stranded on a remote island? Let's first set aside the obvious. The Strokes and Interpol would die from heat stroke after refusing to shed their respective leather jackets and Armani suits. And clearly Pedro the Lion would be locked in some bamboo prison after he attempted to convince the inhabitants that Christian morality would save them from perish. These are givens. Next, in a valiant attempt to assess the topography of the island, Sigur Rós, after naming each beach Untitled, would get completely lost and finally eaten by sharks, the band members' cries for help ignored because nobody could understand their made-up Icelandic/Gibberish.

Details

With the Walkmen and Dios

Sunday, Sept. 14, at 9:30 p.m.

Tickets are $12-14

621-4455

w ww.bottomofthehill.com

Kaito and the Walkmen also play on Monday, Sept. 15, at 8 p.m. at Slim's, 333 11th St. (at Folsom), S.F. Tickets are $13-15; call 522-0333 or go to www.slim s-sf.com

Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th St. (at Missouri), S.F.

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More About

• The Strokes
• Pedro the Lion
• Interpol (Musical Group)
• Nikki Colk
• Sigur Ros

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Kaito . Its latest LP, Band Red, is a record that reeks of primitive understanding and savage aggression, the necessary traits an indie band would need to conquer the island. Alongside drums that sound like the tribal beatings of angry, restless natives, screeching guitars twist and wind like overgrowth, evoking a landscape of chaotic nature and anti-civilization. You couldn't conjure a better soundtrack to a group of kids with dyed hair tromping through Blue Lagoonstyle habitats with homemade scimitars. The deciding factor would be the fierceness of singer Nikki Colk, whose delivery is commanding and childishly taunting as she screams her punk-laden anthems.

Once the Kaito kids had established their reign over the island, you could be certain they wouldn't be kind to those they considered foes. So, if I were you, I'd start flattering them immediately by attending as many shows as I could. You know, just in case you ever decide to start an indie band and find yourself washed up on the shores of an alternative society.