Farrelly Mediocre

The idiots what brung you Dumb & Dumber ain't funny no more

Remember the Farrelly brothers? Makers of Dumb & Dumber and There's Something About Mary? Known for crossing the line of good taste and making fun of the differently abled, but with a sufficiently sweet streak that they could be forgiven for such? Kinda popular until Trey Parker and Matt Stone came along and one-upped them in every way?

Well, they're back. But they don't have the kind of cojones you remember. That sweet streak has grown, like a cancer, and gradually killed off any of the edge their humor may have once had. The early symptoms were there in Shallow Hal, a film that briefly made fun of the overweight and the ugly before turning the tables and making you feel bad for laughing. Now, with Stuck on You, they've made a paean to brotherhood that's almost all sentiment -- a PG-13 film whose edgiest jokes have been given away in the trailer.

Here's a perfect example: Stuck on Youfeatures a significant retarded character, played by a similarly challenged actor named Ray "Rocket" Valliere. Not only are there no jokes made at this character's expense (by contrast, think of the way the retarded brother in Mary was portrayed, or the albino in Me, Myself & Irene), but also the end credits feature a clip of Valliere tearfully thanking the Farrellys and his co-stars for the opportunity. It's a good thing for cinematic diversity that the Farrellys are willing to hire nontraditional actors, and yet this footage of what should be a private moment feels like self-congratulation, as if they want to prove to us that they've grown past mocking the less fortunate. Good for them as human beings, but it ain't exactly funny, and we're paying to see a comedy.

Cooking Up Trouble: Matt Damon and Greg 
Kinnear play conjoined twins.
Glenn Watson
Cooking Up Trouble: Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear play conjoined twins.

Still, reducing the success of the Farrellys to a bunch of retard jokes isn't exactly fair. Part of what made both Dumb & Dumber and There's Something About Mary work was the way the filmmakers would take a traditional premise, like the buddy movie or the romantic comedy, and introduce weird narrative detours one wouldn't normally expect. Here, the narrative is as conventional as can be. It's the old Hollywood fantasy: Lovable small-town guy moves to L.A. to make it big, gets set up to fail, accidentally becomes a huge star, then learns that fame isn't all it's cracked up to be, meets the girl, and realizes What's Really Important.

The sole twist in Stuck on You is that our protagonist is two people sharing one body -- conjoined twins Bo (Matt Damon) and Walt (Greg Kinnear). The age difference is explained by the idea that Bo got most of the twins' shared liver, and therefore Walt ages faster, but that's about as believable as the many scenes depicting Walt lighting up cigarettes in Los Angeles bars. An early notion of having Woody Allen play Walt would have pushed the premise into true absurdity, but it isn't clear the Farrellys have that in them anymore. Likewise, they could have had Ben Affleck joined to Damon at the hip, but that might have played too much like documentary.

Stuck on You is agreeably affable, but not much more. It's laugh-out-loud funny maybe once, possibly more than that if you haven't seen the trailer. The Farrellys can't seem to bring themselves to be nasty to anyone anymore -- even Cher, playing herself as the film's ostensible villain, is revealed to have considerably more to her than a heart of stone. Eva Mendes' caricature of a brainless up-and-coming starlet is initially hilarious -- and the actress' best role this year -- but of course she turns out to be kindhearted through and through as well. The lack of meanness may have been what persuaded so many other celebs to cameo -- in addition to Cher, we get Jesse Ventura, Frankie Muniz, Luke Wilson, Griffin Dunne, Jay Leno, and Meryl Streep as themselves -- but it all seems rather pointless (Dunne is the only one willing to gleefully torpedo his own image). Additionally, it must be pointed out that, judging by the evidence of this footage, "Meryl Streep" is the one role Meryl Streep cannot convincingly pull off.

You want plot details? Sure, why not. The twins begin the film as fry cooks at a burger joint in Martha's Vineyard, rolling out the burgers and fries double time. Walt, however, feels driven to be an actor: His one-man show ("one-man" being somewhat relative when dragging around a conjoined brother with stage fright) about Truman Capote, titled Tru, is a local hit, and he wants to try to go to Hollywood before he's too old. Bo, who likes the simple life, agrees only because he doesn't want to hold his brother back, though it turns out he's also been corresponding online with an Angeleno girl named May (relative newcomer Wen Yann Shih), whom he loves but hasn't told about his condition.

Walt gets his big Hollywood break when Cher, contractually forced to do a silly legal TV drama called Honey and the Beaze, spots the brothers, and, utilizing a clause that allows her to pick any co-star she wants, chooses Walt on the assumption that his presence will cause the show to fail. Not surprisingly, she's wrong about that, and the show becomes a huge hit. If you've seen The Producers, you've seen this sort of thing done way better.

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