Wealth of Advice

SFW: If you collect people, invariably you have to discard older, less interesting friends, from your collection.

WH: Yeah, you get e-mail from them saying, "Are you mad at me? We haven't talked in three months." I just don't feel like dealing with their need. It's easier if the person's really sick or something to say, "Okay, now I'm going to change my priorities." But if they're just their ordinary boring selves ... [laughs].

SFW: Do you ever have friends who say, "Oh, I hate country music!" knowing you're a fan of bluegrass, and does that bother you at all?

WH: If they're going to hate bluegrass music, they're just stupid shitheads. I mean, that's their business. It's offensive in the sense that it's a little like if you were Catholic, and someone said, "Well, I hate Catholics." What's the point? They know it's going to offend you.

SFW: When this interview hits the newsstands, most of our readers will have already broken their New Year's resolutions. Any words of advice to help them get back on track?

WH: It depends what it is. If their resolution is to run 40 miles a week, just put your head down, do one week of it, then do a second week of it, and by that time, you'll be buried in it. If it's unimportant stuff like, "I'll work harder," or "I'll be more friendly," you know, to hell with it. Those were probably bad resolutions anyway.

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