4th Annual Erotic Slam: Very popular open call for poets of any skill level to read their personal, sex-infused works of poetry to an adoring audience, 8:30 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 11, $7-$10. Starry Plough, 3101 Shattuck (at Prince), Berkeley, 510-841-2082.
Aphrodisiac -- A Valentine's Day Party for Queer Youth: L.Y.R.I.C. and O.H.M.Y. present a chicken hawkfree dance party for queer and questioning youth 23 and under (25 and under for transgenders) where you can show your pretty, young selves off, 8 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, donations accepted. SF Boys and Girls Club, 450 Guerrero (at 16th St.), 864-2724.
Aurora Stories: The acclaimed Aurora Theatre Company presents an intimate night of local Bay Area actors reading selection from some of their favorite classic and contemporary love stories, 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $5. Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison (at Shattuck), Berkeley, 510-843-4822.
The Beloved Self: A Self-Love Workshop & Mass Self-Marriage Extravaganza: Writer, performer, and hip hop artist Aya de León helps the single-folk find their "inner brides," 12:30 p.m.-6 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14. La Peña Cultural Center, 3105 Shattuck (at Prince), Berkeley, 510-849-2568.
Susie Bright: Sexpert Susie Bright reads from her erotic series Best American Erotica 2004, which includes tales from Jerry Stahl, Maggie Estep, Alan Cumming, Rachel Resnick, and Steve Almond, to name a few, 7 p.m. Friday, Feb. 13, free. Booksmith, 1644 Haight (at Cole), 863-8688.
Couples Tour of North Beach's Gentlemen's Clubs: Smutty? Horny? Curious about North Beach's rich history of adult entertainment? Take your sweetheart on a fascinating group tour of North Beach's strip clubs, climaxing with a romantic dinner in Chinatown. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or call 510-465-7607 for reservations, 5:50-9:45 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $70 per person, 510-465-7607 (information). North Beach.
Crush/Crushed: Whether you're looking for the dreamy or the sour feelings of love, you'll be sure to find a great original work of love-inspired art at this gallery opening party, 6 p.m. Friday, Feb. 13, free. Canvas Gallery, 1200 Ninth Ave. (at Lincoln), 504-0600.
Cupid's Cusp -- Dinner Dating for Single Men and Women: Sup with a bevy of unattached men and women also looking for that special someone, hosted by "dating expert" Joel Koosed. Reservations required, 7-9 p.m. Thursday, Feb. 12, $15-$20, 864-3500 (information). Atrium, 101 California (at Front), 788-4101.
Duality -- When East Eclipses West: 3rd annual Valentine's night of eastern grooves and underground beats, with local DJs Soulsalaam, Sep, and Shawna spinning the love, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Friday, Feb. 13, $15-$25. 111 Minna Gallery, 111 Minna (at Second St.), 974-1719.
Electro-Techno-Disco-LOVE: DJs Dan, Donald Glaude, BK, Nick Sentience, Andy Farly, Superfast Oz, Dyloot, Tomslik, and more perform at this 18-and-over night of dancing, with five themed arenas of music in one convenient location, 6 p.m.-2 a.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $25-$40. Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, 99 Grove (at Larkin), 974-4060.
Fuck the Pain Away: Have a most happening anti-Valentine's Day night with synthetic songs of love, lust, and loss, 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, free. Lit, 101 Sixth St. (at Mission), 278-0940.
How We First Met: Two cloying tastes -- couples and improvisational comedy -- will go great together as audience members are interviewed about their relationships, while improv players re-enact said love onstage, 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, through Feb. 28, $25-$35. The Velvet Lounge, 443 Broadway (at Kearny), 788-0228.
Hump: Dance with your sweetie at this aptly titled club featuring Altöm, Penta, Cosmic Selector, Audio Angel, Felix the Dog, and Femmes Fatales, 10 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $15-$20. DNA Lounge, 375 11th St. (at Folsom), 626-1409.
I Heart Hot Raps: Spend Valentine's Day the hip hop way with Scream Club, Dime Life Crooks, Katastrophe, Urban Hermit, The Real MacKnight, Scarletto, MC Yams, and DJ Trinity, 8 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $5. Balazo Gallery, 2811 Mission (at 24th St.), 550-1108.
Improv for Lovers: Whether you're single or bringing along that special someone, let BATS Improv intoxicate you with laughter's aphrodisiac, 8 p.m. Friday, Feb. 13, $12, 8 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $15. Bayfront Theater, Fort Mason, Bldg. B, Marina & Buchanan, 474-8935.
Jethro Jeremiah Band and Hyim & the Fat Foakland Orchestra: Spend Valentine's Day in the Mission with the soothing, seductive sounds of roots and rock, 10 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $8. Elbo Room, 647 Valencia (at 18th St.), 552-7788.
Ladies Dining Evening at Mecca: Lady, meet that special lady you lust for in your life at Mecca during a dinner of meeting new friends, contacts, and maybe a girlfriend. San Francisco Police Department Deputy Chief Mindy Pengel makes a special guest appearance, 6 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 11, $39.95, 861-1637 (information). Mecca, 2029 Market (at 14th St.), 621-7000.
Larry Stefl Jazz Quartet: Bossa nova and samba originals dominate a romantic night of jazz for you and your oh-so-special honey bunch, 9:30 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $3. The Albatross Pub, 1822 San Pablo (at Hearst), Berkeley, 510-843-2473.
Lavay Smith & Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers: Spend a romantic night with saucy Miss Smith, her jazzy band, champagne, and more, 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14, $20-$60. Biscuits & Blues, 401 Mason (at Geary), 292-BLUE (2583).
Love Bites: Through solo and ensemble acts, the Lesbian and Gay Chorus of San Francisco sings sad songs about the bitter side of love, 7 and 9 p.m. Friday, Feb. 13, $10-$15. The Center, 1800 Market (at Octavia), 865-5555.