At the Movies

"They spent a lot of money just making his eyes light brown," observes McGrath.

"Yeah, he was the son of a carpenter, not the son of the colored-contact-lens guy," adds Sewage.

The banter is amusing, but the burning question on my mind is: How would these guys compare an Impaled show to this experience we've just had?

"Well, we fall down a little less," says Sewage, referring to the close to 100 times that Jesus stumbles throughout the movie. "And THX or not, we're still louder," he adds.

"And we want people to bring their kids to see us," says McGrath. I personally do not recommend this, but then again, I don't see how any parent with half a brain could bring his kids to see a movie that features graphic close-up shots of hooks digging into a man's flank, peeling his skin back and exposing his sinewy muscles and bloody ribs. But maybe I'm being too sensitive. After all, The Passion of the Christ can't be more shocking than a band that features a hacksawed fetus on the cover of its album Choice Cuts, right?

"We do written-down gore better," say McGrath. "But that movie was pretty fucked up."

Note to Mel Gibson and his fans: A man who sings, "Your rib cage is avulsed/ Mangled, chopped, and hewn/ Organ meats have been sundered/ And about your coffin strewn," just gave this gorefest the thumbs-up. Y'all are in good company.