Sex and the Single Psychologist

"That people are more involved in the Internet and sexuality than they like to be is an important thing to talk about," he goes on. "But Dr. Cooper describes online sexual activity to include a lot of things that, if they were not done online, they would not be considered sexual. ... He has expanded the category so broadly that it inflates the number of people who are involved, sexually, on the Internet. It obscures the actual phenomenon of people who are involved in Internet sexuality in a problematic way."

Cooper, however, believes the issue is significant, and he says it merits the attention it's getting. "I think it's a big problem," he says. "We see it all over. It's a big problem for society and I don't think we're inflating it at all. ... We hear it from clinicians all over the country, we see it in the media, we see it in the Centre, we see it from our research."

There are many who agree with him. His data is now being referenced by about 20 psychologists and scientists who are conducting a large-scale study that may lead to the inclusion of "sexual compulsivity/addiction" in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-V). (They are not an official working group for the publication.) The members of this group, which includes people with varying opinions on the terminology debate, have read Cooper's articles; their study will look at four different populations: a sample group representative of the American population as a whole; a group consisting of people receiving treatment for "out-of-control sexual behavior"; another group consisting of people receiving therapy for non-sex-related primary psychiatric problems; and a group made up of incarcerated sex offenders. These randomly selected individuals will respond to a test-piloted survey in order to help researchers better understand the issue and to clarify the phenomenon's defining clinical signs and symptoms.

"The main controversy around [trying to include 'sexual compulsivity/addiction' in the DSM] is that some people in the scientific community would probably argue that there isn't good empirical data to demonstrate that this is a disorder," says Iowa State's Epperson, who is heading the study. "The purpose of this large-scale study is to answer that question."

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According to Cooper, Internet dating is among the strongest examples of positive Internet sexuality. This he knows from personal experience.

Since his divorce three years ago, Cooper -- who says he is ultimately a romantic at heart -- has focused much of his attention on finding "the one." Though he frequently goes on dates with women he's met over the Internet, Cooper continues to look for a mate on Web portals like Match.com (ladies, he wants you to know that his Internet handle is ADOCFORYOU). Unsurprisingly, he brings his unyielding intensity to this search.

"I'm determined," he says. "This is one of my major focuses in my life. It is. It's a major focus."

He has consulted with friends to craft his dating profile, which starts with an unattributed quote: "Love is like the tide; you need not fear for it will always come." Next, he tells prospective dates (the bad punctuation is his): "I am a PhD, not a RD :) A Psychologist to be exact. This next part is a bit awkward but if I dont tell you about me, who will :) My personality and profession combine to make me fairly atypical; particularly for a Silicon Valley guy. Y'see I am self aware, comfortable talking about my feelings and I want a partner also able to verbalize her needs and explore our relationship. ... I can be intense, and I have a hunger to fully experience, and be present in, my life."

In the past few years, he says, he has had great success with Internet dating, and he claims to have met about 100 women online. (He's not an expert in cybersexuality for nothing.)

"I'm interested in a family, settling down again," he tells me one evening over dinner. "I hope that will entail love. I'm definitely looking for a wife.

"Is this story going to help me?"