Guilty (Featuring Avenue D)
399 Harrison (at Ninth Street)
10 p.m.-3 a.m.; $8.
Direct from New York City, raunchy female electro-rap duo Avenue D will be performing an exclusive set at club Guilty. Their dirty ditties -- "Do I Look Like a Slut?," "The Sex That I Need," "Orgasmatron" -- have earned them booty-bustin' props in dance clubs around the world. DJs Adrian, the Mysterious D, Mr. Anthony, and Suppositori Spelling will be spinning an ass-shaking mix of bastard pop, electro, hip hop, and rock for a fun, young, mixed crowd.
Saturday, June 26
25th Annual Pride Run
Let's get this straight: You want me to (gasp) get up and be in Golden Gate Park at 9 a.m., and then (groan) you want me to run? I loathe running, but the San Francisco Frontrunners are mad for it. Oh well, takes all kinds. The, er, fun begins and ends at the South Polo Fields. There's also a pre-run Pasta Party at the LGBT center the night before for only $10.
The Ninth Annual Fencesitters Ball, a Bisexual Dance Party
155 Fell (between Van Ness and Franklin) 9 p.m.-2 a.m.; $10.
Gentle readers, I feel I must make a confession here and now. I, Heklina, am bisexual. Yes, that's right: I like men and boys! Wheeeeeeeeee, I've been waiting to use that joke forever! What's that, you didn't find it amusing? I'll just stick to the press release then. Join DJs Laird and Kitty for surprises, giveaways, and hot bi-folk from around the Bay and beyond.
Club Papi: The Fifth Annual Brown Party
550 Barneveld (at Dorman)
10 p.m.-4 a.m.
Check www.clubpapi.com for cover prices.
If, like myself, you have a taste for those delicious Latino boys, then this is the dream event for you. Close to 2,000 hot, sweaty Latinos in attendance, with three "caliente" dance floors, the West Coast's top Latin dancers, prize giveaways, and European pop duo La Bouche.
Sunday, June 27
Out For Justice
San Francisco Gay Pride 2004
The parade starts at Market and Beale at 10:30 a.m. (I was elected to be one of your community grand marshals this year; wave to me as I drive by!) and comes to an end at Civic Center. The Civic Center celebration will start at noon and continue until 7 p.m. If you plan on catching all of the main stage talent (which includes Chaka Khan, Graham Norton, and tranny rock band Lipstick Conspiracy) drink plenty of water, don't get too fucked up, and be prepared, should you get hungry, to shell out $5 to $6 for a hot dog. Also check out the Fag Fridays dance stage, the Radical Faerie camp, and the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Gathering Space.
Dykes on Bikes After Party
464 19th St. (at Lexington)
2 p.m.-2 a.m.; free.
Officially known as the S.F. Women's Bicycle Contingent, the Dykes on Bikes start off the parade year after year. After working up a powerful thirst inhaling those diesel fumes down Market Street, the Lexington is where those tough gals will be going to quench it.
272 McAllister (at Larkin)
3-10 p.m.; $7 before 5 p.m., $10 after.
Presenting what she claims will be the gayest Gay Pride party around, promoter Juanita More! teams up with the creators of Opium for the only dance club within the Pride gates. The party features DJ Derek and tour-de-force performances by Fauxnique, Putanesca, and Suppositori Spelling.
Official S.F. Pride T-Dance
420 Mason (at Geary)
6 p.m.-midnight; $15 before 7 p.m., $20 after.
All right, all you gym bunnies who love to take off your shirts, show off those six-pack abs, and shake your cute buns to the kathump-shish-boom of that pounding house that drives me to drink -- this is where you need to be. Mixing turn-of-the-century architecture with world-class DJs, lights, and sound, this is the circuit event of the day.