BeatBox

It's so easy to scoff at the French these days, n'est-pas? From their holier-than-thou dietary practices to their questionable physical hygiene habits to the whole French/Freedom Fry calamity, we've made it a national pastime to point and laugh at the poor, poor French. Funny or not, though, laughing at other countries is just wrong (unless that country's name is Djibouti). So atone for your mean-spirited behavior by heading down to Fluid's "DeepSea -- Bastille Day Celebration." Along with original house beats spun by actual Gallic DJs Frenchy le Freak, Pheeko Dubfunk, and Lady Lastar, breathtaking fire dancers, French décor, and fuckable go-go dancers will help you give it up for the Gauls and honor the fall of the Bastille. La musique begins at 9:30 p.m. this Wednesday, July 14. Admission is $10-15; call 615-6888 or visit www.fluidsf.com.

As gay folklore goes, the "circuit party" is known as a weekend-long, drug-fueled dance excursion (usually set somewhere sunny and outdoors) for the fat-free, freshly waxed, and freakishly tanned man who dances to the thump-thump-thump of the repetitive techno beat. Ruby Skye's "Fresh," however, compacts this odd homo cultural phenomenon into a very popular monthly Sunday night party, perfect for those who just don't have the time or money to dash down to Southern California for Palm Springs' annual "White Party." What's more, "Fresh" is a wonderful last-minute way to rid yourself of the Sunday evening blues and gear up for the long week to come. Resident DJ Jamie J Sanchez pumps out the fancy beats for the nancy boys from 6 p.m. to midnight July 18. Admission is $15-20; call 693-0777 or visit http://freshsf.com/.

Gaining a rock-solid reputation and faithful following as one of the finest hip hop DJ nights around, "Broke as Fuck"recently made a successful move from the Hush Hush Lounge to the other side of the Mission District at the slightly larger, more comfortable 26 Mix. What brings its loyal supporters back for more each week -- location be damned! -- are two key elements: resident DJs Centipede and Ocir spin divine dancehall, hip hop, and original breaks; and $1 beers, $1 shot specials, and $2 well drinks amount to a cheap way to get totally smashed. And with a measly $2 cover, there really is no better or more economical way to get loaded and dance your night away. The music starts at 9 p.m. every Tuesday; call 826-7378 or visit www.26mix.com.