"Judy likes touching Bill Clinton's briefs. Do YOU want to touch Bill Clinton's briefs?" reads a page from Pat the Politician. Absolutely not, I thought. However, I couldn't resist running a finger over the swath of tighty-whitey on the opposite page, and I bet you won't be able to, either. This novelty book, in the touchy-feely format of toddler classic Pat the Bunny, purports to be a "bi-partisan political parody" (isn't that an oxymoron?) for adults. Besides feeling Clinton's undies, you also get to "look inside George W. Bush's head" by opening a little door above his eyes -- which leads only to blackness. The best thing about the book is its conceit: After all, we grown-ups like to touch and feel things, too. But as these two unhilarious examples show, the satire is tired. (Others include "pull Richard Nixon's nose" and "read George's lips." Yeah, yeah, yeah.) At other times it's just plain lame. For instance, one page asks readers to pull Barbara Bush's hair. Hey, she's not even a politician! I did have to laugh at this one, though: "Judy can feel Al Gore's wooden personality. Now YOU feel Al's personality." And I always believed he didn't have one.