March Radness

Ten inexpensive, pre-assembled kits to fit the needs of every demonstrator at the Republican National Convention

Comments (0) By Nate Cavalieri and Tommy Craggs and Garrett Kamps Wednesday, Aug 25 2004

So there you are, standing on a Manhattan sidewalk, having driven the width of the country to protest the Republicans' coronation of President Bush, and it's only now that you realize just how woefully unprepared you are. No megaphone. No Che T-shirt. And, as you put marker to poster board, no decent rhyme for "imperialist." Pretty embarrassing, huh? But don't worry -- we can help. In the buildup to the Republican National Convention in New York, we're offering eight different pre-assembled protest kits to fit the needs of demonstrators of every stripe. Are you a Mill Valley soccer mom looking to decry the politics of greed and the lawless war against the people of Iraq, then catch a matinee of The Lion King? We have just the kit for you! Are you a big-time celebrity hoping to lend your name to the cause of unseating an accidental president and preserving the integrity of our Constitution? We've got the number of every escort service within walking distance of the Waldorf! Shop with us, and you'll be the envy of your human chain.