BeatBox

On Saturdays, the Stud brings you "Sugar," a too-hot, too-gay dance club catering to too-fine males who -- oh, Jesus Christ, who the fuck cares? You wait in line, you take off your shirt, you down a sugar-free Red Bull, dance a little jig, then do a stranger after closing time. Look, no offense to "Sugar" -- which is a swell night, one that I can't imagine waning in popularity anytime soon -- but lately the club's sound and feel can be found, well, at other clubs, gay or straight. Why write another blurb promoting another club promising the same original breaks, dub, house, hip hop, soul, funk (ew), etc., when so many clubs lack innovation? Really, someone needs to do something. Drastic. Different. But until DJ Naz pumps out his favorite Sondheim, or more young kids start voguing to slow house (which is gaining momentum lately), taste "Sugar." It gets sweeter with DJs Ellen Ferrato and Leonard at 9:30 p.m. this (and every) Saturday. Admission is $5; call 252-7883 or go to www.studsf.com.

Tired of the deodorant-free, floppy-genitaled, leather-clad, trying-too-hard-to-be-sexy folk at the Folsom Street Fair, but still want a peek anyway? Well, swish your way down the streets of SOMA to Butter's "Sissy,"you fucking homo. Hosts Sir Richert Top Sirloin and Twisti Miss Sissi know how to keep a party flowing. Domination is the theme here, so be prepared to have your weak ass kicked by some of the toughest DJs, including the remarkable Charlotte the Baroness, Lucho, Kristen, John "The Boy of the Year" Thompson, and Todd the Mountain God. It all starts at 1 p.m. and goes till 1 a.m. this Sunday, Sept. 26. Admission is free; call 863-5964.

What's that sound? Listen, it sounds like the tapping of hoofs on a cobblestone street, doesn't it? No, no -- more like squares of Chiclets plinking onto the sidewalks of SOMA, maybe? Oh wait, why that's the drug-induced pitter-patter of teeth-grinding commonly heard at the Folsom Street Fair. And look, it's coming from the Powerhouse's "Recovery Party."Since nothing takes away the sting of a nasty hangover like alcohol, the Powerhouse compassionately hosts a Monday comedown afternoon for those who either didn't get their fill of Folsom's leather fete, or just didn't get a moment's sleep all tweaked-out weekend long. One-dollar drafts and DJs spinning soft house will help your crash feel like a mere fender bender. The doors open at 4 p.m. this Monday, Sept. 27; call 552-8689.