How to Secede From Jesusland, Without Really Fighting

A plan to split California from the United States. And it's serious. Maybe.

SFW: Ha, ha. So I don't suppose the Europeans are going to invade. What happens next?

CM: I thought we could maybe put secession on the ballot, and maybe enough of the Republican voters in the rest of the U.S. would be happy to see California go. And we could work it out peacefully, and it would just be a parting of the ways.

SFW: Like Czechoslovakia?

CM: Exactly.

SFW: Or like Pakistan and India, whose nuclear standoff threatens the world? Or like the Balkans?

CM: I think we have to only talk about a peaceful, mutual parting of the ways, and anything else would not make sense.

SFW: Would we have nuclear arms?

CM: No. We would have peaceful relations with our neighbors, as well as with all nations.

SFW: So what's the next step for CaliforniaMan?

CM: We'd do the ballot initiative first.

SFW: But that wouldn't get us out of the USA.

CM: At this point, it's about starting the dialogue.

SFW: Because that's what Californians do, right? We share our feelings?

CM: Right.

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