Too Too Funny

Danseuses on the loose

Comments (0) By Hiya Swanhuyser Wednesday, Jan 19 2005

FRI 1/21

Sarah Davitt

Furious flying flaky crust at the "Ballerina Pie Fight."

Velliquette's "Saints."

Aaron Farmer

Burns Night.

Aaron Farmer

Burns Night.

Aaron Farmer

Burns Night.

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Anders and crew planned to hold a photo shoot of the event for the issue's cover, then decided to let the rest of us in on the fun. Although dancers with actual ballet training will be present, all attendees are encouraged to sport tiaras, toeshoes, and stage makeup. To spice up the proceedings, DJs the Mysterious D and Party Ben spin raucous mash-ups (will Tchaikovsky meet "Eye of the Tiger"?) and rocker Lynnee Breedlove makes the whole thing even less dignified in her role as MC. George Balanchine pirouettes in his grave at 9 p.m. at the Jon Sims Center for the Arts, 1519 Mission (at 11th Street), S.F. Admission is $5-10; call 554-0402.
-- Hiya Swanhuyser

Ramble On
Guidebook authors expound

THURS 1/20

San Francisco is a city of surprises, a place where it’s possible to live for decades and still make daily discoveries: a hole-in-the-wall restaurant with a killer chocolate malt, an overgrown staircase shortcut between two familiar streets, an alley gallery with weirdly wonderful art. But unless you want to spend all your leisure time searching such things out, there are a million urban treats you’re going to miss. That is, unless you avail yourself of the wisdom of the local adventurers at “An Evening With Bay Area Guidebook Writers,” where you’ll kibitz with Bradley Charbonneau (author of Urban Travel Guide: San Francisco), former SF Weekly columnist Jack Boulware (San Francisco Bizarro), and the writing team of Kristine Enea and Dean LaTourrette (Time Off! The Unemployed Guide to San Francisco) at 7 p.m. at Get Lost Travel Books, 1825 Market (at Guerrero), S.F. Admission is free; call 437-0529 or visit www.getlostbooks.com.
-- Joyce Slaton

Diorama Drama
Installation of religion

Follow the trail, enter through the waterfall, and find yourself in an oversized religious diorama: "The Still Lives of Saints"installation is artist Michael Velliquette's psychedelic ode to judgment, damnation, and salvation. A huge pillow shaped like a human hand, giant eyeballs that gleam with natural light, and colored things made of string encourage the viewer to contemplate transcendence. (The ornate confusion of crafty objects looks as if it'll also spur comments like, "Trippy!") Thematic elements include eyes and hands; materials are Velliquette's customarily simple ones, such as construction paper, felt-tip markers, and tape. "Still Lives" stays up through Feb. 13 at Ratio 3, 903 Guerrero (at 21st Street), S.F. Admission is free; call (646) 732-2767 or visit www.ratio3.org.
-- Hiya Swanhuyser

Burns It Down

SAT 1/22 "Scottish love poetry, born from a sheep's stomach, awash with the tears of the Highland malts, to the drone of the pipes." That's how the organizers of Burns Night describe the annual event. But the evening is still meant to be a dignified remembrance of (hell-raising left-wing proto-punk) poet Robert Burns, beginning at 8 at the Edinburgh Castle, 950 Geary (at Larkin), S.F. Admission is $10; call 885-4074 or visit www.castlenews.com.
-- Hiya Swanhuyser