Bouncer

Katy St. Clair shows a Rottweiler who's boss, wins at bingo, and enjoys Sadie's Flying Elephant

Then something amazing happened, something that could only be chalked up to chance. To my right, along the bar, came the unmistakable bark of the word "Bingo!," causing the startled Rottie to jerk his massive head toward the sound and then quickly saunter off in search of someone else to terrorize. Let me put this out there to any Rottweiler owner: Yes, Adolf may just be a big overgrown puppy, and yes, I'm sure he was just playing that one time he tore your lip off, but you make the rest of us very nervous when you keep him off leash.

I decided to move over to the bar, especially since no one could hear me scream where I was sitting in the back. I parked it next to a guy with 16 bingo cards. Ah, I thought, so this was the asshole who kept winning. "You are going down," I said to him ominously, and deep down I knew I was right. Later, for the first time in my life, I won. I actually used the word "Bingo!" in a nonsarcastic context, and even scored a free drink. I ordered a Heineken, the significance of which was not lost on the dog. I had asserted my dominance.

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