Fajita the Night

Were the cops really innocent of assault, or is our DA's Office just lame?

B) Hope to God nobody's caught him on videotape.

C) What's the big deal? He sounds like perfectly good cop material to me. (Bonus point for being a huge Dirty Harry fan.)

6) Shortly after taking office, Mayor Gavin Newsom replaced Alex Fagan Sr. as chief with Heather Fong, and appointed Fagan Sr. to head the city's Office of Emergency Services & Homeland Security. Fagan Sr. -- who'd been suspended twice before in his police career -- resigned from that post last spring, however, after getting into a much-publicized screaming match with his son at a lounge in Scottsdale, Ariz. The scuffle ended with both men in handcuffs and the younger Fagan charged with punching a security guard and threatening police officers. How do you explain the actions of the Fagans?

A) You know what they say: You can take the Fagans out of a drunken fracas, but you can't take the drunken fracas out of the Fagans.

B) Well, in light of the events that triggered the brawl over the fajitas, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why the Fagans were fighting again.

C) Boys will be boys.

7) The alleged brutality at the center of the Fajitagate scandal, a contrast with the laid-back reputation of San Francisco's Police Department, helped the story attract media attention nationwide. Even The New Yorker weighed in on the causes and effects of the scandal, with writer Jeffrey Toobin offering observations on the incestuous nature of S.F.'s political structure. Which of the following statements, from a Q&A with Toobin on the magazine's Web site, do you find the most typically condescending in its appraisal of the city and its response to Fajitagate?

A) "Many people think of San Francisco as a big city, but it sure started to look like a small town."

B) "I think it's more a story about the eccentricity of San Francisco than anything else. I think Willie Brown had it about right when he told me, 'The whole thing is odd.'"

C) "One of the bizarre elements of this investigation -- and there were many -- was that prosecutors in the grand jury asked the chef who cooked the fajitas how he made them. (And my piece includes his recipe!)"

How to score:

Score zero points for every "A" answer, one point for every "B," and two points for every "C."

0-6 points: Does this mean the cops are actually going to start investigating stolen cars and break-ins, or is that not the kind of departmental reform we're talking about?

7-10 points: To those on the fence, think about it: Who would make up a story about getting the shit kicked out of them over takeout Mexican food?

11-14 points: You're right, it is us against the terrorists, and those two young men flaunting their fajitas were clearly up to no good. You can have your badge and gun back now.

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